Intro of Essay - will someone PLEASE HELP edit 6 linesOne of the most important problems in which we have to deal within our reflection on man, is man’s freedom. It is part of the nature of man...

Intro of Essay - will someone PLEASE HELP edit 6 lines

One of the most important problems in which we have to deal within our reflection on man, is man’s freedom. It is part of the nature of man to crave freedom, to demand and also fight as it can be achieved by human effort. Perhaps we are destined to be free whether we like it or not. To be free is to be responsible. Therefore, it is in man’s nature to struggle for freedom as it is evident in the Prince and the Pauper by Mark Twain through Tom and Edward’s psychological struggle, physical struggle and spiritual.

Asked on by mavimalik

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jmj616's profile pic

jmj616 | Middle School Teacher | (Level 3) Associate Educator

Posted on

Always happy to answer a question about one of my favorite books!  The Prince and the Pauper is so much fun that it's almost a shame that student's have to write papers about it.

Here is your introduction, edited to the best of my ability:

      It is part of the nature of man to crave freedom, to demand it and to fight for it. Perhaps we are destined to be free whether we like it or not--because to be free is to be responsible. The desire, struggle for, and inevitabilty of freedom is evident in the Prince and the Pauper by Mark Twain, in which the characters Tom and Edward engage in  psychological , physical and spiritual struggle for freedom.

By the way, your thesis is very interesting.  I never thought of The Prince and the Pauper as being primarily about freedom, but I think you've got an interesting point.

kapokkid's profile pic

kapokkid | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Educator Emeritus

Posted on

One of the most important problems we have to deal with in our reflection on man is man's freedom.  It is part of the nature of man to crave freedom, to demand it and also to fight for it if it can be achieved by human effort.  Perhaps we are destined to be free whether we like it or not.  To be free is also to be responsible.  Therefore, it is in man's nature to struggle for freedom as it is evident in the Prince and the Pauper by Mark Twain.  This is made evident through Tom and Edward's psychological, physical and spiritual struggle.

 

So editing it is pretty easy, but you might also want to think serious about whether it makes sense as a whole, is repetitious or not, and whether you are trying to make it sound more complex than it needs to be.  Obviously that works for some teachers, but if it were me, I'd throw this paragraph right back at you and suggest you work on it again.

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