Holden has a strained relationship with his mother. They are both suffering painfully from the death of Allie. Holden knows he isn't helping the situation with his own self-destructive reaction to his brother's death, and much of the plot of the novel is driven by his desire to avoid seeing his mother until she has had time to absorb the fact that he has flunked out of Pencey.
Holden's mother is a sophisticated society woman who belongs to clubs and goes to the theater. She tries to be a good parent to her children, and she does seem to care about them, but she also has a difficult time relating to them. A telling fact is that she goes to the effort to buy Holden the gift of ice skates but gets the wrong kind: he wanted racing skates and she bought him hockey skates. On the other hand, she knows how to dress Phoebe well, which Holden appreciates.
Two episodes give us insights into Holden's relationship with his mother. On the train to New York, he meets a woman whose son Holden knows at Pencey. Although Holden does not think much of this son, he gives the mother a falsely glowing account of him because he knows mothers like to hear good reports about their children. In this, he is projecting his desire to protect his own mother from hearing the bad news about him and his desire that people would say good things about him to her.
Second, he hides in the closet and overhears the strained conversation between Phoebe and his mother. The mother is caring but also parental, and the conversation misfires, showing that Holden's mother can't quite relate to her children.
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Holden's first comment on his mother is that she "gets very hysterical." It is Holden's own behavior, particularly his propensity for being expelled from school, that brings on this hysteria, which, in its turn, creates a nervous reaction in him. This mutual nervousness seems to be the foundation of their relationship, with Holden feeling guilty about the amount of trouble he causes both his parents but viewing his father as tough enough to handle it, while his mother is not.
Holden's comments on his new ice skates are also revealing about his relationship with his mother. He feels sad that she spent so much time and trouble getting them for him, even though they were not the kind he wanted. Holden's mother provides amply for him in material terms, but her lack of focus is evident even in the gifts she sends him.
Holden knows that he is not the primary cause of his mother's nervous anxiety. He says that she "hasn't felt too healthy since my brother Allie died." However, he also knows that he causes her additional worry, which exacerbates her nervous condition. As a result, he is somewhat wary of mothers as a class, commenting as soon as he encounters Ernest Morrow 's mother, "Mothers are all slightly insane." Holden has...
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no idea what a healthy mother-and-son relationship would be like, not even a memory of one from before Allie's death.
Holden is emotionally distant from his mother. The loss of her younger son has locked Mrs. Caulfield in a state of nervous exhaustion that is characterized by constant headaches and anxiety which causes her to lose sleep and chain smoke.
Holden knows that his mother has not gotten over the death of her youngest son, so she is still grieving, which leads the reader to understand that she is sad.
In Chapter 7, Holden describes how his mother will react when she finds out that he has been kicked out of another school. He wants to arrive home after his parents have received the letter from Pencey Prep indicating that Holden has been expelled.
"I didn't want to go home or anything till they got it and thoroughly digested it and all. I didn't want to be around when they first got it. My mother gets very hysterical. She's not too bad after she gets something thoroughly digested, though." (Salinger)
In Chapter 21, when Holden sneaks into his apartment, he talks about his mother again. Holden tells the reader that his mother is a light sleeper, she can hear a pin drop a mile away.
"You can hit my father over the head with a chair and he won't take up, but my mother, all you have to do to my mother is cough somewhere in Siberia and she'll hear you. She's nervous as hell. Half the time she's up all night smoking cigarettes. (Salinger)
Holden doesn't have a very good relationship with either of his parents. He can't confide in them. He has not opened up to anyone about his grief over his brother. He sneaks into his apartment and listens to his mother scold Phoebe, while he hides in the closet, he can't even confront her, he doesn't trust her.
Holden believes that his mother is in a fragile state, suffering from a nervous condition with constant headaches is how he describes her in Chapter 23. Holden's mother is so grief stricken over the death of her son, Allie, that Holden feels really guilty about being such a burden to her, that is why he doesn't go home right away and that is why he chooses to hide while in NYC rather than go home, even after he has no where else to stay.
The only person in the book that Holden has a genuine relationship with that is based on trust and real love is his little sister Phoebe.
What does Holden say about his mother and father in The Catcher in the Rye?
Holden intersperses enough comments about his parents throughout his text that he creates an image of them, though we never meet them directly. We know, for example, that they are wealthy people. Holden mentions that his father is an investment attorney and that he "hauls" in quite a bit of money.
His parents also seem to live a very typical upper-class life. They have servants and a house in the country as well as their fashionable New York apartment. They send Holden to expensive boarding schools, and his father hopes for him to go to Yale or Princeton, although that is not what Holden wants. They seem to have a lot of friends, and they go out frequently to parties and dinner and also to golf.
They are private people. Holden states:
my parents would have about two hemorrhages apiece if I told anything pretty personal about them. They're quite touchy about anything like that, especially my father. They're nice and all—I'm not saying that—but they're also touchy as hell.
The parents are also very much upset over Allie's death. One of the reasons Holden doesn't want to kill himself is that he knows how much it would upset his parents, especially after losing one son. He also says of his parents:
When the weather's nice, my parents go out quite frequently and stick a bunch of flowers on old Allie's grave.
Holden's mother seems to be an introvert and somewhat high-strung: she socializes quite frequently, but Holden says she doesn't like it much and often gets headaches from it. She has good taste in clothes, at least for Phoebe, and she is not afraid to confront her neighbors when she has a problem.
Both parents, if troubled by Holden's behavior, seem caring toward their children. Holden's mother, for example, comes into Phoebe's room when she sees the light on after coming in from an outing. She is concerned that Phoebe is not asleep and asks about her trip to the movies. The parents also keep trying to find a boarding school for Holden that will work, rather than giving up on him.
All in all, Holden wants to please his parents despite their currently strained relationship. He avoids seeing them in New York because he is ashamed that he has failed at another boarding school. His parents care about their children and have been shaken by Allie's death.
What does Holden say about his mother and father in The Catcher in the Rye?
Holden Caulfield describes his mother as a hysterical woman who is extremely anxious and nervous all the time. She is still struggling to heal from the tragic death of her youngest son, Allie, and Holden sympathizes with her. He also says that feels bad for his mother after he drops out of Pencey and roams the lonely streets of New York City by himself.
Holden is not particularly close to his mother, which is revealed by the fact that she did not know that he wanted racing skates for Christmas or that he was infatuated with Jane Gallagher. He also mentions that his mother is a chain smoker and stays up smoking in the middle of the night. He says that his mother has a good sense of fashion and dresses Phoebe well. She is also a concerned parent who would cry and beg Holden to come back home if he ever ran away.
Holden describes his father as a touchy individual who wishes that he would attend Yale or Princeton later in life. Holden also mentions that his father is a wealthy, successful corporate lawyer. He invests his money into shows on Broadway but seems to have bad luck. Holden's father is a former Catholic and stopped going to mass after he married Holden’s mother. He is also a deep sleeper and would never wake up in the middle the night.
Overall, Holden has a strained relationship with his parents and is not very close to either of them. Holden's father seems to be more interested in his occupation, while his mother is struggling to accept Allie's tragic death.
What does Holden say about his mother and father in The Catcher in the Rye?
It's fair to say that Holden has a less than ideal relationship with his parents, especially his mother. He describes Mrs. Caulfield in detailed terms as a very nervous, anxious woman. Permanently grief-stricken and beset by insomnia, she's finding it hard to get over Allie's death.
Although Holden doesn't get on very well with his mother, he nonetheless expresses guilt over adding to her worries by constantly getting kicked out of one school after another. He describes her initial reaction in such cases as hysterical but claims that she isn't so bad when she finally digests the bad news. Clearly, she's still preoccupied with the memory of her dead son.
As for Mr. Caulfield, Holden describes him with a degree of objectivity that indicates their emotional distance from one another. He tells us about how rich his old man is and what he does for a living. Holden vividly compares his dad's sleeping habits with those of Mrs. Caulfield:
You can hit my father over the head with a chair and he won't wake up, but my mother, all you have to do to my mother is cough somewhere in Siberia and she'll hear you. She's nervous as hell. Half the time she's up all night smoking cigarettes.
The implication here is that the death of Allie hasn't quite impacted Mr. Caulfield in the same way as his wife. The fact that he can sleep soundly at night speaks volumes.
What does Holden say about his mother and father in The Catcher in the Rye?
Holden begins his story by describing his parents as private people who would be upset if they knew he disclosed anything about them; he claims they are "touchy about anything like that, especially my father."
When he decides to take some time alone before going home after his expulsion from Pencey, Holden clearly wants to avoid facing his parents. He says, "My mother gets very hysterical. She's not too bad after she gets something thoroughly digested, though." He understands that there will be a scene because he has to once again change schools.
Holden's family is wealthy; of his father, he says "My father's quite wealthy . . . he's a corporation lawyer." He describes his mother as "very nervous" in the aftermath of Allie's death. When Holden confides to Phoebe that he has left Pencey early, Phoebe tells him "Daddy s gonna kill you."
Holden does not share many of his parents' values. He doesn't enjoy urban living, and he rejects the idea of working like his father. He understands and empathizes with their concern for him, but he feels trapped by their expectations and their control over his life.