HS Juniors need their own transportation"Juniors are not babies. They are steps from being considered adults. We as juniors have accomplished much during our years as high school students. We now...

HS Juniors need their own transportation

"Juniors are not babies. They are steps from being considered adults. We as juniors have accomplished much during our years as high school students. We now find ourselves restricted because we need mobility. That mobility can be obtained if we had our own wheels. Yes, we need cars. It is not cool catching the bus to and from school. We need cars for transportation. Stop treating us as babies. "

the topic is in quotation marks. 

Convince that juniors need their own transportation. Improve the speech by expanding it gto include rhetorical devices.  Support this topic.

Please give me some points to add by improving or make a little outline. help me

6 Answers | Add Yours

wannam's profile pic

wannam | High School Teacher | (Level 3) Educator

Posted on

I would certainly remove the statement about needing a car because it is cool (or uncool to catch the bus). This doesn't further the argument. In fact, this type of statement will tend to make most adults roll their eyes and dismiss the rest of the argument as a teenage rant. To improve this type of speech, look for actual evidence and hard facts. You might include the difficulty in participating in after school activities without access to a ride. You might include the need to participate in these activities to further a students education and preparation for college (or life after high school). You might also include the necessity of a job for some students and the need for transportation from school to that job. This is something that wouldn't be provided by a school bus and would necessitate a personal vehical. The argument does not offer any facts and would easily be improved by less whining and more evidence.
lmetcalf's profile pic

lmetcalf | High School Teacher | (Level 3) Senior Educator

Posted on

Who is the intended audience of this speech? Who are you trying to convince? The only people who are going to provide the actual "wheels" are the parents of the junior. If you are tyring to write a speech to convince parents to spend their money to buy a car for their 16 year old child, then you need to brainstorm the reasons why this would be beneficial or appropriate for said family. You could mention what the student has done to "earn" this privilege, how the student plans to help support the use of the car (gas, insurance, maintenance), why the student actually needs a car etc. The "cool" argument is a pretty weak one!

belarafon's profile pic

belarafon | High School Teacher | (Level 2) Educator Emeritus

Posted on

To my mind, the responsibility for transportation on a teenager old enough to get a driver's licence is on the teenager. We do not provide a bus as a perk, it is a necessity, but it is not anyone else's responsibility to give a teenager a better ride to work. If you want a car, earn the money to buy a junker. Why should the parents spend their money on a car you don't need? The bus is free and it gets you to school! If you want to improve your transportation, make it happen. Don't put it on the school or the parents.

I realize that this doesn't help with your essay, but it is my opinion. I think you would be better off focusing on problems with the bus system itself, on drivers, on bullying and student problems. It's hard to afford a chaperone for each bus that the students will actually obey.

pohnpei397's profile pic

pohnpei397 | College Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

Is it possible that juniors are not being provided with "wheels" because their parents feel that they can't afford the "wheels?"  If that is the case, you will need to put something in your speech to argue that providing students with cars is actually going to be beneficial to the parents.  You will need to argue that the time that they save from not having to drive kids around themselves will make up for the cost of the car.

bullgatortail's profile pic

bullgatortail | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

Ditto the post above. None of the high schools in which I have taught have ever had restrictions concerning 11th graders driving and/or parking cars on campus. If there is a restriction at your school, I would assume that it would be due to a lack of parking spaces on campus. Most parents I know provide a car for their children by their 16th birthday for the exact reasons you mention--mobility. It also frees up parents' time spent driving their kids to and from social and school functions. In Florida, where I live, the state does not allow high school dropouts to drive until they turn 18--an incentive meant to keep kids in school.

vangoghfan's profile pic

vangoghfan | College Teacher | (Level 2) Educator Emeritus

Posted on

I'm assuming that most juniors in most high schools would already have licenses, so I'm not sure I understand the problem here.  If the state in which you live is willing to grant licenses to juniors, surely the school would have to recognize the validity of those licenses.  Is there a limited amount of parking?  Are seniors permitted to drive to campus?  What are the reasons the school gives for not allowing students to drive to campus?  Knowing those reasons would help us give you better-informed feedback.

 

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