Paul would feel relieved if his brother died; then, he would feel guilty. All Erik has ever done is torment Paul and his friends. Erik is an arrogant, sadistic boy whose parents never disciplined him. As the first born and a talented kicker to boot, Erik has his dad believing that his son could become a college stand out and possibly a pro. Dad doesn't see Erik beyond those hopes. Mom is more aware of Erik's shortcomings, but she, too, does nothing about his behavior. Paul is afraid of Erik, but he doesn't know why. He only knows that his vision suddenly went bad when he was five. He has flashbacks that involve Erik having something to do with his poor sight, but until the end of the book, he doesn't know what the connection is. If Erik were to die, then Paul would not be bullied again. But, he would feel that his should mourn the loss of his brother, even if it were just for the sake of family.