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How to read literature like a professorWrite a free verse poem derived or inspired bycharacters or situations from greek mythology.so i wrote this poem form Aurora and Tithonus. Dear mortal of my...

How to read literature like a professor

Write a free verse poem derived or inspired bycharacters or situations from greek mythology.so i wrote this poem form Aurora and Tithonus.

Dear mortal of my love

How unfruitfull has been my gift

To grant thee immotality

And case to grant thy youth to thee also

My heart cannot behold this great mortification

As it discerns the wearing of thy youth

Thy once appealing beauty now dissolves in the age of mortaliy

Thy glowing hair now white as snow

Thy limbs once energetic now lie feeble

My heart cannot withstand this misfortune

So shall i bid thee goodbye.

pls survey for inaccuracy punctuatin and grammar.

 

 
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5 Answers

lentzk's profile pic

Kristen Lentz | Middle School Teacher | (Level 1) Educator Emeritus

Posted on

Capitalize "I" on the second to last line.  Also, consider adding some punctuation to the ends of the lines.  You have the period at the very end, but also consider putting a period or comma at the end of some of your other lines to complement the natural flow of the poem.  You misspelled 'unfruitful,' 'mortality,' and 'immortality.'  I also think "white as snow" is a little cliche; it's a vastly over-used comparison, so maybe you could find something from your greek characters' perspective that they are familiar with to compare the whiteness to.

shake99's profile pic

shake99 | Teacher | (Level 3) Senior Educator

Posted on

In line three, how did the speaker grant "immortality"? The object of the poem apparently is not immortal, so what happened? I understand that you said the gift was "unfruitful," but as a reader I need a little more to fully understand your point.

You have some good details and images in the second half of the poem.

litteacher8's profile pic

litteacher8 | High School Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

I don't really think the first line works. My "mortal love" might work better. I also am not sure about the word "case" in the fourth line. I'm not sure exactly what you mean. In the 7th row, do you mean "mortality" instead? Of course the I needs to be capitalized in the last line. Good job!
phonebook5's profile pic

phonebook5 | Student, Undergraduate | (Level 3) eNoter

Posted on

I made some corrections.

My mortal love

How unfruitful has been my gift

To request thee immortality from Jupiter

And cease to ask thy youth to thee also.

My heart cannot behold this great mortification

As it discerns the wearing of thy youth.

Thy once appealing beauty now dissolves in the age of mortality

Thy glowing hair now aspros

Thy limbs once energetic now lie feeble.

My heart cannot withstand the cruel misfortune

So shall I bid thee goodbye.