How does the main character in "How to Date a Browngirl, Blackgirl, Whitegirl, or Halfie" by Junot Diaz contribute to irony and contradiction?

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"How to Date a Brown Girl (black girl, white girl, or halfie)" by Junot Diaz is a story framed as a series of instructions to a boy preparing for a girl to come to his house.

The narrator instructs the boy to opt-out of a family trip to visit his Aunt. His mother won't believe his excuse but will decide that he can stay home. To get the house ready, he has to hide the government cheese. If the girl is from a more upper-class family, he needs to put it in the cabinet above the oven and remind himself to get it out before his mother gets home. If she's a local, he can just hide it in one of the fridge drawers. He has to hide embarrassing photos and the bucket of used toilet paper.

She's late and he doesn't know if she'll arrive. If it's a local girl, she might not come at all, the narrator says. The next day he'll see her at school and be charmed enough to ask her out again.

A local girl will come on her own or with friends. A girl from farther away will have a parent drive her. The narrator...

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