How does the governess describe her feelings after Mrs. Grose and Flora have left for London?

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At the end of chapter 21, Mrs. Grose and Flora leave for London. The governess hopes that, separated from his sister, Miles will be more likely to, as she puts it, "confess" to his crimes. And, she says, "If he confesses, he's saved."

In chapter 22, the governess says that...

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At the end of chapter 21, Mrs. Grose and Flora leave for London. The governess hopes that, separated from his sister, Miles will be more likely to, as she puts it, "confess" to his crimes. And, she says, "If he confesses, he's saved."

In chapter 22, the governess says that at no time during her stay at Bly did she feel "so assailed with apprehensions," as when Mrs. Grose and Flora left for London. In other words, she felt anxious about being alone with Miles. The governess also says that the "blank" expressions on the faces of the "maids and men" in the house, who were surprised and confused by the sudden absence of Mrs. Grose and Flora, served as an extra "aggravation" to her nerves.

The governess also says that she "avoided total wreck," referring again to her anxiety, by embracing the anxiety and putting on the appearance of being "remarkably firm." She confides to the reader, however, that she "paraded with a sick heart." The implication here is that the governess' exterior appearance of resolve and determination was only a show to hide a heart "sick" with apprehension.

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