How do people move on with their lives when they have suffered a great loss?How do people move on with their lives when they have suffered a great loss?

8 Answers | Add Yours

litteacher8's profile pic

litteacher8 | High School Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

People are resilient.  Some people never move on, and it is not always possible to predict who will be able to move on.  They say that time heals all wounds, or that over time our memory allows us to forget.  Some people with other strong connections are able to move on, because they rely on the strength of others.  Whether or not a person can move on depends on how closely the person's identity was tied to the loss, and the person's ability to remake his or her identity.

mwestwood's profile pic

mwestwood | College Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

People all have different ways of trying to cope with great personal loss.  Some have to have a little help by taking anti-depressants for a while.  Emotional eating, unfortunately, can also become a way of comforting oneself. Others find solace in poetry, music, or other art forms.  Exercising more can help, too.  Delving into one's job--even getting a second job--to keep thoughts at bay is what still others do.  But, above all, the love and attention of family and friends are the best comforts for those who suffer.

Realistically, the loss of a child or spouse or the like is often something from which a person never fully recovers; the person simply learns to take one day at a time afterwards if she/he heals at all.

megan-bright's profile pic

megan-bright | (Level 1) Associate Educator

Posted on

Time, in and of itself, does not do anything except assure that one is getting older. I agree with the posts that state that therapy and grief counseling certainly have their place for certain people in regards to healing.

I've never accepted the saying that "Time heals all wounds." If it did, then we wouldn't have so many people suffering and holding on to abuse they suffered during childhood etc.

It's what you do with that time that makes all the difference in the world. Besides counseling, there is spiritual (church) support, family and friend support, giving back to help others, turning the pain into power by writing, singing or expressing yourself in certain ways, other support groups, and so on.

lrwilliams's profile pic

lrwilliams | College Teacher | (Level 1) Educator

Posted on

I think the most important thing is with the support of your loved ones. As stated above it is going to take time to move on, but it is much better if you can have the support of those around you. I am not sure about the therapy issue, I have known people who have gone to therapy and have not really gotten through the rough times any better than others.

ask996's profile pic

ask996 | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Senior Educator

Posted on

I'm hoping that what the Time article was really saying is not that therapy doesn't help, but that it can't really make the process faster. Much research has been done and has proven that there are 7 stages to grief. Everyone experiences it, and there is no specific length of time for grieving. However, therapy could certainly help deal with some of the emotions as one travels through the stages.

 

http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html

pohnpei397's profile pic

pohnpei397 | College Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

I just read something that says that, basically, therapy does not do any good -- the only way to move on is to simply let time take away the pain.  This was in Time magazine a couple of weeks ago.

I agree with this idea.  I think that we can't escape grief and that there is no short cut to getting over grief.  All we can do is to realize that we still have our own lives to live and that our lives do go on even after great loss.

So I do not believe in therapy for grief.  I think that it is a natural part of life and that we just have to work our own way through it by realizing this fact.

akannan's profile pic

Ashley Kannan | Middle School Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

Therapy might be one of the most effective approaches for people to pursue when they have suffered a great loss.  Grief counseling is one such avenue.  Specific tasks of grief counseling include emotional expression about the loss (which can include a wide range of feelings), accepting the loss, adjusting to life after the loss, and coping with the changes within oneself and the world after the loss.  In this light, the ability to openly talk about loss, to examine its full reach, can help individuals appropriate it and gain power over it.  I think that this is one aspect that becomes critical for individuals to be able to move on with their lives, while acknowledging the magnitude of loss.  The challenge becomes how one can properly place the loss in its specific context, giving weight to its experience, but not being crushed under such a force.  Talking through grief counseling and facilitating this process is an attribute of the process.

tradecraft's profile pic

tradecraft | College Teacher | (Level 2) Adjunct Educator

Posted on

I just read something that says that, basically, therapy does not do any good -- the only way to move on is to simply let time take away the pain.  This was in Time magazine a couple of weeks ago.

I agree with this idea.  I think that we can't escape grief and that there is no short cut to getting over grief.  All we can do is to realize that we still have our own lives to live and that our lives do go on even after great loss.

So I do not believe in therapy for grief.  I think that it is a natural part of life and that we just have to work our own way through it by realizing this fact.

You state:

I just read something that says that, basically, therapy does not do any good -- the only way to move on is to simply let time take away the pain.  This was in Time a couple of weeks ago.

I agree with this idea.  I think that we can't escape grief and that there is no short cut to getting over grief.  All we can do is to realize that we still have our own lives to live and that our lives do go on even after great loss.

So I do not believe in therapy for grief.  I think that it is a natural part of life and that we just have to work our own way through it by realizing this fact.

I completely disagree with your post.

First of all therapy is very beneficial for many people so to say such a blanket statement that therapy does not do any good is irresponsible and immature.

Second, time does NOT heal all wounds. Grief can only get better when the person handles the issue that caused the grief. Not everyone needs counseling to address grief but there are many who do. And by doing so it does not diminish, in any way, the type of person they are.

Some can handle grief without counseling and that is great for them but not all people have coping skills.

We’ve answered 318,911 questions. We can answer yours, too.

Ask a question