You have really asked three questions here. I will answer the third question in detail.
It took time for the southerners to recover after the Civil War. The South was in complete disarray, and Reconstruction was debated for a period of time. Eventually, the Radical Republican plan prevailed. Most southerners really hated this plan because it was harsh on the South. What really held back the southerner from changing was the reluctance or unwillingness to change his/her attitude towards many things in the South. Many southerners really struggled with the idea of racial equality. They had never lived in such a society, and, therefore, they could not see any possible way for equality to exist. So much energy went into keeping the former slaves in a slavery-like condition; it was hard for southerners to move forward. Attitudes are very hard to change, and this was especially true when it came to the concept of racial equality.
It was also hard to move away from farming. This is something the southerners were really good at doing for a very long period of time. While some southerners did move into the industrial sector of the economy, many really struggled with the change this brought to the South. A change of this magnitude was hard for many southerners.
Southerners found change difficult, and this held them back to some degree.