How does Amir damn himself in The Kite Runner? "Amir was thinking to himself: I would stand my ground, I decided. I didn't want to sacrifice for Baba anymore. The last time I had done that, I...
How does Amir damn himself in The Kite Runner?
"Amir was thinking to himself: I would stand my ground, I decided. I didn't want to sacrifice for Baba anymore. The last time I had done that, I damned myself."
When Amir tells Baba that he will major in English and become a writer, Baba reacts with disappointment and suggests that Amir enroll in law school or become a doctor. Amir holds his ground and mentions that he refuses to damn himself again. Amir is referring to the overwhelming guilt and shame that he deals with on an everyday basis, which stems from refusing to save Hassan and intervene when Assef raped him. As a timid, jealous adolescent, Amir witnessed Assef raping his best friend after the kite-fighting tournament. Amir did not intervene out of fear that Assef would harm him and the event traumatized both Hassan and Amir. After witnessing Hassan's rape, Amir cannot overcome his guilt and shame, which he carries with him into adulthood. By deciding to go against his father's wishes and become a writer, Amir is finally taking control of his life for the first time and will not live with regret.
The incident that Amir speaks of when he says, "the last time I had done that, I damned myself," is when he allowed Hassan to be attacked and tortured without doing anything about it. He stood by and watched as all of that happened and then he ran away. Part of the reason that he did so was because he needed to save face. He couldn't allow his father to know that he didn't win the kite running event or that the kite had been stolen. Amir's inaction caused him years of guilt and regret and arguably ruined his life, thus damning him. At the point you're talking about, Amir has an opportunity to ease the guilt a little bit and save face in front of his father. It's too little too late, but that's what he does.
Did you mean Explain how admir had damned himself?