How is coming of age (in other words, becoming mature) shown in the novel by Orson Scott Card, Ender's Game?

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Ender first learns to control himself and his army in battle school. He also learns he has to trust himself and no one else. Initially as a soldier, then a toon leader, then a commander.

From day one as a soldier, Ender is intentionally set apart from the rest of his army. Ender has to learn to overcome this by making friends and fitting into the group.

Next he learns to start his own army; controlling a small group.

Then as a commander, he has his own army and directly controls the actions of his soldiers.

With each step, Ender understands more and more that there are no adults who will save him. When he is challenged, he has to figure out how to handle it on his own.

By learning to control himself and those around him, and by knowing that no one will save him (and as an extension all of humanity) if he fails, Ender matures into an adult by the end of the book.

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Becoming a more mature individual is most evident through the character of Ender, but you could use just about any of the main characters.  The story is about young children being trained in battle school to fight against the buggers.  Many of the children are under the age of 12, and they are being asked to train for the annihilation of another species.  That's huge.  If these kids weren't in battle school, they would probably be shooting hoops on the playgrounds of Earth.  They are being taught tactics and teamwork, but more importantly, they are being taught to be ruthless.  Ender is no exception.  The commanders are counting on him to be able to strategically throw away the lives of his friends in order to win at any cost.  That's a major coming of age item.  

Back on Earth, Card shows the coming of age journey through Peter and Valentine Wiggin.  Together, the two of them turn into world leaders in their own right through the writings of Demosthenes and Locke.  

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