How can I write these paragraphs avoiding some ideas falling into the other paragraph?(not talking about the same things in all paragraphs).School uniforms enhance the learning environment,...

How can I write these paragraphs avoiding some ideas falling into the other paragraph?(not talking about the same things in all paragraphs).

School uniforms enhance the learning environment, reduces behavioral problems, promotes safety, and it is cost effective. Can I conbine the first two? What could I talk about in each of them? I'm confused and I need 5 pages for this assignment. Help!!!!!

Expert Answers
ktmagalia eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Every essay needs a general focus or thesis statement.  So, if your main topic is school uniforms, what general factual statement can you make about them? Example: there is much debate and controversy surrounding the adoption of school uniforms.  This is a true statement, right? Now, how do you feel about school uniforms? Judging by the paragraph topics you have supplied, it appears as though you feel they have a more positive influence than negative, so add this to your factual statement.

Possible thesis: Although there is much controversy surrounding the  school uniforms, their adoption in the schools has a positive effect on behavoir, budget, and learning environment.

Now that you have a focus for your ideas, think about how to introduce your topic.  Bring in a little general information about uniforms, without getting into too much detail.  Your purpose is to "hook" the reader. This, along with your thesis statement, will introduce your essay.

You already have your main topics for each of your body paragraphs.  Just make sure to have specific evidence for behavior improvement, budget impact, and learning environment.  Be detailed in your discussion of these factors.

It's always a good idea to acknowledge the opposition in this kind of essay.  Consider writing a paragraph beginning with "Many people may oppose school uniforms because ......" Give a short explanation, considering how others may feel, but then bring it back to your opinion and then you're ready for your conclusion.

mwestwood eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Your question seems mainly focused upon coherence, or the links of thought.  There are three important ways to achieve coherence in a paragraph:

  1. explanation of the support
  2. reminders of the opinion in the topic sentence
  3. transitions

These essential techniques will assist readers to move smoothly from idea to idea within your paragraph.  So, after you have written the topic sentence formed from one of your three opinions in the thesis, present the support (and counterarguments) to the readers, but also be sure to explain how this support is related to the topic sentence--the key to coherence.  In other words, link your support, clearly and without any ambiguity to the topic sentence.  The use of transitional words is essential to this linkage.

For instance, if we take the first opinion that the wearing of uniforms has a positive effect upon behavior, you can provide support from studies that have been conducted at schools after they instituted the wearing of uniforms, writing something like this:

In a study at _________________in which uniforms were required (to connect to the topic sentence, repeat words from this sentence), ---% of infractions of bothering others studies went down. This reduction of misbehavior indicates --------

Remember to remind your reader of the topic sentence, and you will stay on track as this act keeps your own focus on the topic sentence, as well = Coherence.

For additional help, see the sites below.


Ashley Kannan eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Brainstorming or planning what you are going to write before you write it will help ensure clarity and coherency of paragraphs.  It is important to lay out what you are going to say before you actually say it.  I think that this is essential in any good writing, but probably more so in making sure that paragraphs don't repeat ideas too much.  Naturally, there will be some overlap because all of the paragraphs will be talking about or explaining the thesis statement.  Yet, you want to clearly write out separate from the paper or lay out in your own configuration what ideas are going to be in each paragraph.  I have seen students use different colored index cards for different paragraphs and sort their supporting ideas through color, making sure that each color goes with its corresponding paragraph.  This is one way this could be done.   A simpler way would be to note what you are going to say in each paragraph and make sure it doesn't become repeated in the same way in the other paragraphs.  Planning before writing will help make a good writing sample into a potentially great one.  I will leave you to sort out the details you have on school uniforms using these ideas of planning.