I think what you are struggling with in this statement is word order. It grammatically works, but you sound like you might be in the process of editing and revising. I always want to make what I say more specific, more precise, and I want it to demonstrate strong word economy.
I recommend:
- The author ___________ a variety of qualities in the character, ____________.
In your first blank, use this list to determine a very specific verb to use. In the second blank, list the actual character's name.
- employs
- models
- displays
- portrays
- demonstrates
- shows
- creates
- illustrates
- illuminates
- highlights
Each of these are stronger verbs than the MAKE that you were trying to use. As an English teacher myself, when I see students move away from using do, have, is, are, make, give and a few other verbs that apply to many situations, I am then able to see them use their vocabulary to its fullest potential.
I do not think there is necessarily anything wrong with the way you have put this. But I suppose you could use any one of the following wordings:
- The author has the character show different qualities
- The author writes the character in such a way that (s)he shows different qualities.
- The characters' actions and words show different qualities.
- The way that the author portrays the character shows different qualities.
- The author causes the character to show different qualities.
- The character shows different qualities (and never mind putting the author in there.
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