How can I rewrite the following to avoid cliched phrases and/or biased language? "In a nutshell, that is the sad but true story of the late, great Keyser Soze."I have to rewrite this sentence and...

How can I rewrite the following to avoid cliched phrases and/or biased language?

"In a nutshell, that is the sad but true story of the late, great Keyser Soze."

I have to rewrite this sentence and provide an alternative for the cliched phrasing and/or biased language - could someone help me out please? -Thanks Joelle

Asked on by readeal3

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stolperia's profile pic

stolperia | (Level 1) Educator Emeritus

Posted on

Look at the sentence you've been given, one phrase at a time, and think of alternatives for each part.

'In a nutshell' could become 'In short' or 'In summary' or 'To summarize.' You might change the next part of your sentence to read 'the unfortunate truth is' or 'these regrettable facts are' or 'the dismal reality is.' Describing Keyser Soze without using cliches should be the easiest part of your rewrite.

So, a completely rewritten sentence might read: 'In short, these are the unfortunately true facts regarding the reknowned, late Keyser Soze' or 'To summarize, the reality is that the dismal life of the infamous Keyser Soze has ended.' The real challenge is conveying your opinion of Keyser Soze without sounding biased.

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pohnpei397's profile pic

pohnpei397 | College Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

Almost every part of this sentence is a cliche.  "In a nutshell" is a cliche.  So is "sad but true."  You can argue that "late, great" is also a cliche.  Calling him "great" may be an example of bias as well.  So you will probably want to change all of those phrases.

To do this, you can say something like "In short, that is the tragic story of the late Keyser Soze."  By saying it this way, you remove the cliches and the praise of Soze.  Of course, it sounds a great deal less colorful this way.  That shows that cliches can add a certain sense of style to a passage.

 

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