How can I improve the conclusion of my essay on Romeo and Juliet? Here's what I have: "The tragic ending to the lovers story is not solely a result of their impulsive actions, but was also caused...

How can I improve the conclusion of my essay on Romeo and Juliet? Here's what I have:

"The tragic ending to the lovers story is not solely a result of their impulsive actions, but was also caused by the choices made by many of the minor characters such as Lord Capulet, The Nurse, and Friar Lawrence. Perhaps if the adults had not meddled with the lives of the young teenagers there lives wouldn’t have ended so abruptly. Lord Capulet’s selfish desire for Juliet to marry Paris made her desperate and impulsive. The Nurse’s reckless encouragement of the love, followed by her betrayal caused Juliet to lose trust in the only adult that could have helped her live. Friar Lawrence’s deceitfulness, and his complete lack of thought was one of the most important factors in the untimely deaths of Romeo and Juliet." 

My teacher said that I should bring back Shakespeare and the contrast between youth and adults.

Expert Answers
poetrymfa eNotes educator| Certified Educator

It looks like you have a good start there, although it's a bit hard to assess what particular ideas you might need to tweak without having the context of your paper's thesis; that being said, it would be a good idea to bring up the differences between the youths and adults within this play if that's what your teacher has suggested.

So, what are those differences? We might argue that the young people in Romeo and Juliet are much more authentic and spontaneous in their actions and beliefs than the adults, who seem bound to the rigidity of tradition. The adult characters in Romeo and Juliet's lives are inflexible, and it is that inability to adapt (say, to be able to abandon their attachment to the silly feud that has stretched on endlessly between the Montagues and Capulets) to modern circumstances that results in their meddling having a deadly cost: the lives of their children. The intentions of the young people are pure enough that their relationship may just have survived had those adults not intervened.

Also, please be mindful of all of the grammatical errors in your work! I have outlined some changes that should be made below:

- lovers story = lover's story

- Put a comma after "minor characters"

- Put a comma after "young teenagers"

- "there lives" = "their lives"

- Put a comma after "betrayal"

- No comma after "deceitfulness"

 

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Romeo and Juliet

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