First, it is so admirable that you want to improve your relationship with your mother. Second, it may be a long road. My experience is more with my father, but here is what has worked for me: you have to learn to really listen, see things from the other person's perspective, and try to see the intentions behind the words. You also have to be patient with your differences and not try to make her what you want her to be rather than what she is. Keep your temper at all costs. Be the one who makes the effort and she will respond. You have to try to communicate with her in a way that makes sense to her and always try to see from her point of view. You may not always agree with her, but being able to see her point of view will often allow you to overlook things that may have otherwise made you angry and unable to communicate. You have to work to have a relationship with the person she is, not the person you would like her to be. I'm sure it will be worth it. Best of luck!