My teacher told me my thesis is way too general.   What can I do to imrove my thesis? This is my Thesis: Literature from New Zealand/ Australia exposes friendship in many works. Friendship means...

My teacher told me my thesis is way too general.   What can I do to imrove my thesis?

This is my Thesis:

Literature from New Zealand/ Australia exposes friendship in many works. Friendship means different things to different people, and sometimes it is something that has to be learned or experienced. The writers are more willing to go into detail about personal issues, such as the way people treat each other, that relates to a readers point of view

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litteacher8 | High School Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

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The thesis statement is the focus of an essay.  It usually occurs in an essay’s introductory paragraph.  Since the entire essay is built around the thesis, the thesis has to be:

1.       Short: No longer than 1-2 sentences.

2.       Provable:  Your thesis is not just what you are writing about, but the point you want to prove.

3.       One-sided. A thesis cannot be wishy-washy.  It needs to choose one side and stick to it.

For number 1, your thesis is three sentences long.  It also needs to be more succinct (clearer and shorter sentences).

Your thesis begins:

Literature from New Zealand/ Australia exposes friendship in many works.

For number 2, your thesis runs into problems.  You talk about writers from New Zealand and Australia.  First of all, get rid of the slash.  That’s not formal wiring.  Second of all, the question is WHICH writers?  Do ALL writers in New Zealand and Australia write about friendship?  This is not likely.  You need to choose specific writers AND specific works.  Then you can be more specific about how they treat friendship.

For number 3, the question is if your thesis is provable.  You state:

Friendship means different things to different people, and sometimes it is something that has to be learned or experienced.

This is still pretty general.  Can you prove it?  Not really.  Be more specific.  This problem should solve itself once you choose specific works.  You continue:

The writers are more willing to go into detail about personal issues, such as the way people treat each other, that relates to a readers point of view.

This is a good framework for your essay, but belongs in your introduction and not your thesis.  Does it relate directly to the idea of friendship?

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