Hello. What are the characteristics of a good girl to marry?Hello. What are the characteristics of a good girl to marry?

Expert Answers
wannam eNotes educator| Certified Educator

This really depends on your personal culture, beliefs, and ideals.  For instance, some cultures look for a woman who is happy to stay home and clean the house.  She must be prepared to raise the children, be a good cook, and take care of the household.  Another culture might not value this type of woman at all.  Some cultures look for a woman who is independent and self-sufficient.  A woman who has her own career or stands up for herself might be far for valued than a woman who is meek and mild.  There really isn't one set of values for a good wife.  It depends entirely on what is right for you and your culture.

thanatassa eNotes educator| Certified Educator

This really isn't an academic question. The answer depends entirely on your own tastes, interests, and personality. The main way to discover whether someone would be a good life partner for you is to spend a few years really getting to know the person well, to make sure that you are compatible on major life decisions and beliefs, and wait a few years before having children to make sure that your careers and relationship are stable.

litteacher8 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I think that the girl and guy should be compatible.  You need to have someone that you enjoy being with and getting along with.  I know it sounds cliché, but this really should be the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.  You have to be best friends with the person, but more than that.  You two have to have good communication and a deep trust.  If you find a girl like that, that is who you should marry!

pohnpei397 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

This depends so much upon what your cultural expectations are.  Here in the US, we would expect that a good woman to marry would be one who had the same kind of attitudes that you do towards things like children and how to handle money and things like that.  But people from different cultures will surely have different expectations.

literaturenerd eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I would suggest that a good person to marry is one who accepts you for who you are--flaws and all. I would also suggest that a good person to marry is one who balances out you as a person (kind of like the "opposites attract theory). Outside of those things, I have to agree with the points brought up in the earlier posts.

Kristen Lentz eNotes educator| Certified Educator

The best person to marry is one you have developed a deep, caring, loving relationship with.  One that you can be friends with, trust, and one you care about more than yourself.  If you've got those things, life will be great!

amoli | Student

Thanks for participating in the discussion.A problem of modern cultures therefore is that we become biased towards our own form of marriage and come to consider any other form "wrong", "stupid", "silly", etc. So, those who practice arranged marriages consider those who marry freely and romantically to be silly, short-sighted pleasure seekers. This is not how romantic couples see themselves. They probably see arranged marriages as inhuman, inferior and oppressive. Both people lack understanding that other forms of marriage are different and mean different things. When one victim-of-culture argues that another victim-of-culture prescribes an immoral form of marriage, no agreement is possible because in arguing about "marriage" they are arguing about completely different things. In different cultures, marriage means different things.

najm1947 | Student

In reply to 6:

I take a serious exception to your comment:

... but in advanced societies women are seen as commodities. - Amoli

You are grossly misinformed about the western culture. Women are treated at par with men almost in all respects and especially when it comes to selecting a partner or sex.

Having said that, as for as Shiite Islamic culture is concerned, you have indicated Mu'taa which is allowed as temporary marriage. Your problem seems to be the absence of your own house and car which you think are prerequisites for the marriage. As far as I know, many married people are living in Iran without owned home or car, but they earn their living. I think in your case, it is a bit too early to look for marriage. Either lower your standards or wait till you are capable of providing the facilities to the girl you are looking forward to marry. From what you have said, probably your parents do not like the idea of supporting your family. In my opinion, they are right and want you to be a grown up man with a good career, capable of supporting your family.

amoli | Student

Hello to all our teachers.Seems to be about this issue can not be considered a personal matter. Because this is a common and public affairs. Course to fit the culture and society, religion and believes people should be detailed.I am an Iranian. Have a religion with a series of basic principles. Male and female relationships are not allowed. But boys and girls in Western societies are very comfortable and open relationship.Our religion says that women and girls for their families, but in advanced societies women are seen as commodities. The purpose of this discussion is that I have this theory that boys and girls together for some time to become familiar with the LIFE in our society it is not acceptable except in the form of temporary marriage More than ninety nine percent, which leads to marriage.The guidelines we use.I am currently in a judicial test was accepted and I do not own a house and car And can not no girl will marry me.What do I do?thanks alot.