Hello.Please rate my essay on 'A television program i like most'. You can judge my capacity to express my point of view.A television program i like most Television is one of the most important...

Hello.Please rate my essay on 'A television program i like most'. You can judge my capacity to express my point of view.

A television program i like most

Television is one of the most important means of communication.Now a days.television plays an essential part in our lives.But some do not regard television as a sound means of edutainment and it has gained a bad reputation called an 'idiot box'.This title is responsible for the obnoxious things that are filling minds of young generation with rabid imaginations.

Apart from the misconceptions about television,there lies some sense of optimism for me because there are a good range of academic shows telecast in television.The program i like the most is "Interstate Talent Competition".It spreads a brilliant idea about the innumerable qualities possessed by an individual.The show welcomes students from all fields.It includes art,dance,music,sports,debates,quiz and many other cultural programs.Teachers and Parents are very pleased to see their children taking parts in different academic activities.

Thus 'Interstate Talent Competition' has enlightened our minds and developed our eagerness to do something in any of the fields.It is beneficial to students as it teaches us that no one is a loser and all possess some sort of talent which is discovered with the application of it in their desired work.

Asked on by luvlyrazia

7 Answers | Add Yours

herappleness's profile pic

M.P. Ossa | College Teacher | (Level 1) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

Aside from some marks in some spelling words I would state in a couple of sentences how the show connects to your personal experience to sort of complete your rationale. Like, somewhere in the essay, mention that your personal experience as a student has led you to realize how hard it is to excel at some things. The show mirrors the challenges that students go through the colorful field of the arts. What could reflect best the joys and tears of teenage life? Try that and please let us know how you did!

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litteacher8 | High School Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

You have some interesting ideas here. To make your ideas clearer, I suggest beginning with a strong thesis. You don't really get to the point right away. You need to state your point, or your purpose, at the beginning of your essay in the first paragraph.
ask996's profile pic

ask996 | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Senior Educator

Posted on

You need to rewrite you essay thesis to match the majority of your writing such as how television is considered by some to be a worthless contraption, or you need to rewrite your essay so that the majority of it is supporting the television show  you like. It would also help us if we knew what the purpose of the assignment was.

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Ashley Kannan | Middle School Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

I think that you will receive different levels of feedback on your work featured.  I would suggest that you might need to link your introduction to the body of the paragraph in a more coherent way.  It seems like the central point of the paper is about your like for this television show.  The introduction gives more of a critical review of what is on television.  Terms like the "idiot box" inclusion as well as the "obnoxious things" inclusion might want to be exchanged for something that talks about the wide array of shows that are on television, of which the show you identify is a part.  In terms of why you like the show, I think you could use more in way of support.  Perhaps, including something about how this show is distinctive from the array of shows that are featured on television would be effective.  What makes this show distinctive?  In an arena where there are so many shows about talent contests, why is this one unique?  I think that a bit more could be given here.

thewanderlust878's profile pic

thewanderlust878 | Student, College Freshman | (Level 3) Salutatorian

Posted on

I really like your use of word choice, it really enhances your essay. I also enjoy how much passion you seem to have for this particular TV show, it definitely shines through in this piece. I might suggest making it a little longer, perhaps by adding some more details to it. It seems a little short to me, so unless you have a word or character restriction, I suggest making it slightly longer. 

nusratfarah's profile pic

nusratfarah | (Level 1) Valedictorian

Posted on

It is really great to see that you are enthusiastic to know about the rate of your writing progress, but it would have been wise if you would have posted it either as a discussion in the 'create a new topic' section or in the document writing section. The editors could get a better scope to edit it. But, I would say, your write-up is average. Is it for an assignment? You can revise and modify a few sentences or phrases to make it much better. Then it will be a very good essay indeed, because the concept or theme is nice. Keep it up. Good luck!

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