This is a sophisticated reading for an IGSE level student and an impressive first draft. There are a few strategies you could use to make it stronger.
Strategically, it is important to show that you understand the difference between an "analysis" and a "summary." Although you are, in fact, doing a substantial amount of analysis, your introduction and the structure of your paper do not clearly signal that distinction. Organizing the paper simply by following along the poem stanza by stanza tends to look like summary. Thus you might restructure your essay as follows:
- Introduction specifying what elements of the poem you will discuss in what order
- Meter, rhyme, and other sonic devices such as alliteration
- Religious themes and symbols
- Themes of love
- Themes of death
- Conclusion: how all these work together
Within each section, you can follow the order of the poem, but the sections should be separated by theme. Transitions between sections can show how these themes or elements are related.
Next, careful proofreading is important. The title "Buck in the Snow" belongs in quotation marks using "title case" for capitalization. The phrase "the natures reflection to it" is puzzling; "nature's" as a possessive requires an apostrophe. The phrase "readers emotions" should be "reader's emotions." Vocabulary and syntax are generally sophisticated and appropriate for work at this level.
In the sentence:"death could, she states, have moved from “Under the heavy hemlocks” which are moving under the weight of the snow they bare" do you intend "bear" rather than "bare?" Also the repetition of "move" is infelicitous; perhaps consider substituting a synonym.