My post is offered from my experience only, it is not meant to sway, point a finger, or judge the experiences of others.
There was a time in my life I felt that no matter what I was asked to do I never totally measured up to the task as judged by the taskmaker. I now know this was not because I was not appreciated for what I accomplished but primarily due to the confusion, anger, hurt, disappointment, and the shortcomings of the adult situations that existed beyond my control. However, it must be noted that it took many years before I fully understood the intensity and heartfelt sorrow of what one of my parents endured that I understood that certain silence. Although personal I will offer this, as young girl I was expected to take on very adult roles without any 'verbal' thanks, however 30 years later I understand it now. Make no mistake during those years I felt as awful as anyone could feel. There was a long time I blamed the adults responsible for my seemingly thankless reality, as a result I became bitter and angry. At the time it was hard, I was confused, the situation was never explained to me by my parents, and all I knew was that I was responsible for keeping my brothers and sisters a family. During that time I could not see it... I was just a teenager. I thought...oh poor me... you understand...selfish... Today I feel that the impact of those experiences make me 'me'. I decided to use it for my advantage, (after all I deserved it)... While it is true a 'thank you' is a wonderful thing, some young people never hear it, others wait, and wait, the latter boils down to a hostile waste of time. As an adult, married, and a mother I realize now that before I was any of those, I thought I knew it all... and franlky it is impossible to understand the dynamics between a husband and a wife, let alone a troubled couple who happen to be your parents. If it were a perfect world they would all say 'thank you'... but in real life sometimes those luxuries take a back seat to realities. Although there is no excuse for it nor guarantee in real life, those nearest to your heart can have either a positive or negative impact on your life, either way those experiences will impact your life. With all due respect, either way, if you matter to them and they matter to you both parties hold the potential to teach one another how to understand the human condition. You (plural) can either keep score on the 'measuring up', the 'thank you' and the 'rewards' that may or may not be owed to you (plural) Which in my opinion is a waste of time and energy, or you (plural) can try your hardest to find a way to keep a smile on your face....and a song in your heart.... The choice is yours.