Have you ever felt like what ever you do for your parents is not good enough and don't get a thank you or get rewarded for it? have you ever felt like what ever you do for your parents is not good enough and dont get a thank you or get rewarded for it?

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alohaspirit eNotes educator | Certified Educator

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I definitely went through that as a teenager, but you need to focus on making yourself proud. If you know you did a good job, that is what matters.  I would have a conversation with them about this because it is important for parents to understand that their appreciation and praise is very important to their children.

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I am an only child, and had no Super-star brother to look after, nor a little sister for whom to be a role model.  The thing is, my parents did not either. So, both my parents and I were simply learning at the same time to be family to each other. The Kudos and the "thank you's" simply happened whenever they happened. None of us knew what was enough nor when was the right time- Maybe that is the situation in your case as well.

You know, sometimes it takes a really huge act to move the attention of someone, and sometimes it is the little things that matter to them- But, that is still "them". What matters to you is a completely different thing. Surely you would like some positive feedback for what you do= Just try to not "expect it". Let it happen when it happens and pat yourself in the back FIRST.

Just for the fact that you wrote this note tells me you must be a darn good kid. Keep up the good work.

 

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Jasmin Ritchie eNotes educator | Certified Educator

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My post is offered from my experience only, it is not meant to sway, point a finger, or judge the experiences of others.

There was a time in my life I felt that no matter what I was asked to do I never totally measured up to the task as judged by the taskmaker. I now know this was not because I was not appreciated for what I accomplished but primarily due to the confusion, anger, hurt, disappointment, and the shortcomings of the adult situations that existed beyond my control. However, it must be noted that it took many years before I fully understood the intensity and heartfelt sorrow of what one of my parents endured that I understood that certain silence.  Although personal I will offer this, as young girl I was expected to take on very adult roles without any 'verbal' thanks, however 30 years later I understand it now. Make no mistake during  those years I felt as awful as anyone could feel.  There was a long time I blamed the adults responsible for my seemingly thankless reality, as a result I became bitter and angry.  At the time it was hard, I was confused, the situation was never explained to me by  my parents, and all I knew was that I was responsible for keeping my brothers and sisters a family. During that time I could not see it... I was just a teenager. I thought...oh poor me... you understand...selfish... Today I feel that the impact of those experiences make me 'me'. I decided to use it for my advantage, (after all I deserved it)...  While it is true a 'thank you' is a wonderful thing, some young people never hear it, others wait, and wait, the latter boils down to a hostile waste of time. As an adult, married, and a mother I realize now that before I was any of those, I thought I knew it all... and franlky it is...

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epollock | Student

All the time, but you have to reprogram your thinking to find thankfullness from within and be happy to help people. If you always expect people to say "Thank you," it might be unreasonable to always expect that.

Find strength from within to give yourself self-satisfaction. If you are truly altruistic, a reply isn't necessary.  Like my doctor helping me, I respond "Thank you" and he says, "you don't need to thank me, it's my job and this is what I do."

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kc4u | Student

As children grow old and the parents older, wave-lengths differ increasingly. Children having understanding parents and parents having caring children are really fortunate. It is generally true that children can never repay the debts of their parents, and the parents generally do not expect to be repaid either. With the fast-changing patterns in society, parents-children relationship is also undergoing significant changes which are not always for the better. Children should take care of their parents without expecting anything for return, for it is no relationship of material exchanges.

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krishna-agrawala | Student

I am now 63 years old, and have no opportunity to do anything for my parents as they are no more. But sometime when I think back about what I did for my parents, the thought upper most in my mind is regret that I did not do enough for them.

It is not as if it was wery difficult give them what they needed. All that they needed was a little understanding and expression of love. Today, I am myself a father, and am in a position to guess how my parents would have felt.

Parents, do a lot of things for their children out of love and concern for them. They don't do it in expectation of any return. But, when their children do something for them, it gives them great happiness. And it does not take lot of time or money to give this happiness to them. Just a little care.

The needs and feelings parents and their children differ. Just as parents have difficulty understanding their children, the children also have difficulty understanding the needs of their parents. It is worthwhile for grown up children to make special efforts to understand the needs of their parents and fulfill them. If you do this not to get rewarded or being thanked by your parents, but just to make them happy, you will the expression of happiness and satisfaction on their face the greatest reward for your efforts.

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