I have to write an essay about why we study history. Is this a good introduction?There are many reasons to study history. Studying history allows individuals to have a connection to the other...

I have to write an essay about why we study history. Is this a good introduction?

There are many reasons to study history. Studying history allows individuals to have a connection to the other people in their country, it's a part of our identities, and it offers us an opportunity to examine our mistakes from the past and learn from them.

 

I then plan on explaining those reasons in more depth. Like firstly, studying history allows individuals to have.... n then explaining why i think this

Asked on by homegurlz

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brettd's profile pic

brettd | High School Teacher | (Level 2) Educator Emeritus

Posted on

I think it's a pretty good thesis, in that it is concise, specific and gives the essay and the reader a good starting point.  I do have a couple of suggestions that might help you improve it even further.

For example, I might choose to leave out this first sentence below entirely, as it doesn't have a specific, and the reader (your teacher) assumes that there are many reasons to study history since they assigned the question, so it's simply unnecessary to state it.

There are many reasons to study history.

In the next sentence, you can make "connection" more specific.  "personal connections", "connections between people of various backgrounds and regions" or "common connection with other Americans", just as a few examples.

Studying history allows individuals to have a connection to the other people in their country,

Same with "identities", identity as a society? As Americans? As ethnic groups or genders? Specific is almost always better.

it's a part of our identities, and it offers us an opportunity to examine our mistakes from the past and learn from them.

litteacher8's profile pic

litteacher8 | High School Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

I like this. I would begin the overall essay introduction with some kind of hook like a quote about the importance of history, a question or some kind of statistic about historical landmarks or America's historical knowledge. It will spice things up and prime your reader.
missy575's profile pic

missy575 | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Educator Emeritus

Posted on

I think you have begun with a great outline to what you intend to write about. When teachers ask you to write an introduction, there are several ideas for grabbing the attention of your audience. Often we call this a hook. This idea of a hook is missing in your introduction. This last sentence of the intro is already perfect to exist as a thesis statement and a road map if each of those reasons are eventually going to receive their own paragraphs.

So, what are examples of good hooks? An anecdote (short short story), a quote, a song lyric, sometimes a good question, or a shocking statistic could work. As I am looking at your paragraph in fact, I was reminded of a song lyric: Don't know much about history. You might play with that idea. Or, you might think of a time when history has repeated itself.

I guess what I am saying is try to improve that first sentence, although direct, you could spice it up a little. A 3-sentence intro would do you good:

1. hook: grab the reading audience's attention

2. transitional sentence: connect the idea of the hook to your purpose for writing.

3. thesis: leave yours as is.

Good luck! Hope this helps!

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