I have prepared an abstract for a paper I have written (see below). Since I am not a native English speaker, I'd appreciate your revision.  Abstract: The main convention in Classical epic is the...

I have prepared an abstract for a paper I have written (see below). Since I am not a native English speaker, I'd appreciate your revision.

 

Abstract: The main convention in Classical epic is the splitting of the narrative setting in two levels: the Olympus and the Earth, with the Olympian Gods intervening in human affairs. In some mythological films like Jason and the Argonauts (1963) and Clash of the Titans (1981) a peculiar motif appears: the Gods play a board, chess-like game with pieces which represent the mortals. This paper surveys the Classical background of this motif, as well as its cultural parallels, with a view to trace the sources of the screenwriters and examine their motivation.

Key-words: mythological cinema, epic, generic conventions, Gods, intervention, Classical tradition.

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literaturenerd | High School Teacher | (Level 2) Educator Emeritus

Posted on

In order for you to see the suggestions I have made, I am going to bold and explain the corrections (so that you understand why the corrections are being made).

The main convention in the Classical epic is the splitting of the narrative setting into two levels: (omit "the") Olympus and the Earth (end sentence here given the second part of the sentence does not have to do with the setting at all; instead, it needs its own sentence given it changes the subject of the initial sentence). The only interactions which exist between the two very distinct settings are those where the Olympian Gods intervening in human affairs.  (The addition of this preface to the interaction is needed based upon the removal of the unrelated thought existing as a fragment. The fragmented thought needs a tie to the previous sentence.)  In some mythological films, (insert comma to offset the examples) like Jason and the Argonauts (1963) and Clash of the Titans (1981), (complete examples with another comma) a peculiar motif appears: the Gods play with the lives of the mortals on a chessboard. This paper surveys the Classical background of this game (more specific to the idea of what motif the paper will be examining) motif, as well as its cultural parallels, with a view (are you only showing one view or multiple views? If you are showing multiple views the word "view" needs to be changed to be plural, "views") to trace the sources (What sources? Historical texts? Early movies? Playing off of a novel idea?) of the screenwriters and examine their motivation (motivation for/of what?).


I must say that I am very intrigued! Overall, you have a very well written abstract. I think that it only needs some tweaking in order to define some of the ideas a little better.

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