From a child to a adult a lifes struggle
I will be putting my notes down about my life. The far past to current. can anyone write it better? Please help with getting the story of my life out and may be even have a great book about a mans strugle to make it .
It's greate what u have written.
this all seems to be breaking my heart but things had to change for Thomas sake We should have done this along time ago but both of us were stupid in how we were being with each other and that was not good for don and Chris I hope that what we have done to each other does not ultimate hert don or Chris in the way they see there mates I would only want the best for don and Chris that's why I got involved with them in the first place, I am truly sorry that the whole thing turned out how it has but the truth is that we are the only ones that can change how it turns out and maybe it would happen that way for both of us please lord find a way that Thomas is not scared from all of this, How can you help, oh unseen one???? today is June 13 2009: My feelings are so up tight
I said to Lenee you want a kiss and she said no but you do and kissed me good bye as she left Its pretty funny that she just staid. She just had to get rid of me asap. right.I just have a funny feeling that somethings going to happen. I would like to have Lenee see real story of all of this but I am afraid that she going to keep the blinders on as long as everything works out for her, the moment that things start to work for me and I start to get happy she will then wont something from me, she claims that she does not want a thing from me money or anything, just wait for things to get to tight for her and then well see the true Lenee. I am tyring to let her be her and I'm just not sure of the whole out come, I remember her with Donny and she would always say that Donny was the one pursuing her, Like I said to her before that how I feel is real and that I just cant go back now or ever because of all the things that has been , she has really destroyed my life from money to friend ship to lovers, trust or just Even kindness I would love to believe in Lenee but once all the trust is broken than its very hard to let go of all of those emotion's on those things see I come from having no trust in the family
when I was a kid and mom and dad did not teach us trust or how to build it aether so that life long question on how do you make things work if you don't know how to let it happen well I guess that the proof is int he pudding for all to see in the end I hope that she is sensor about working to get here but something tells me that its not all over yet I pray that we both can make it work fore Thomas sake My dreams For Thomas is to try and make him the happiest boy in the world I just need to love him to the best of my ability work on trying to build a Strong father and son realisation ship I hope that Lenee lets that happen for us we will see in the future, she just called to day and said that she wanted to bring Thomas over and that she thought that I would like to see him maybe that I missed him , well I truly do but I have to let her have her time with Thomas as hard as it is but I hope that she will do the same because
It has bean a weird week I don't know if its me or if its Lenee but something seems weird, Lenee has stayed every night seance we broke up at my house sleeping in my bed, not sexual at all, I have noticed that Lenee has not done anything for her mom but once this week and that was to take her to her doctors apt. other than that she stayed with me,
How can I trust that she would keep her word she hasn't yet, on any of the things that I asked to date, Like fixing my floor in the kitchen or shampooing the floor after all of the dogs pissed on it and shit on it and they just don't think that its that important to work at cleaning the house, I have tried so hard to work with her.but to no avail. I think that don Jr and Chris has such a hold of her that she just cant give in on a thing they run her life she is supposed to promote good family life but every time that they come over to do the move or her tries to just do the princes Dianna wave and does nothing to show good health but with a bad look and walks away don on the other hand just tries to not come over, but he still says love ya uncle Stinky, back at ya lurch. I am trying to not get ahead of my self but, Now she seems that she is hurting to be away from Thomas for any length of time, just something about it, kinda the look of longing for some thing
Today June 8 2009 Max's last day with Lenee 530pm
Boy this day was hard, some times I get real mad about how Lenee can be but nothing I can do about it, STUBBORN is the word I have for her, It seems like she just can get what someones trying to do, Don and Chris just don't get it, They have a very unsuitably way about them,It seem very bad to the point of codependency Even with my sister Ellie I have no way of knowing how to help the problem that's at hand, I talked to ed on the way to the bank Walgreen's and the my attorney , I asked him if he thought that Lenee would file on me and he said with out a doubt that he thought that she would file for child support, when I asked Lenee the same question she said that she would not go after child support or my SDI for Thomas or myself, I am having my thoughts that she is going to work with me in this I also or said that Ellie is not aloud around Thomas at all or I would go for full custody of him because she is a child molester, she had molested myself and Donny my brother when we were young, well she agreed to that we will not file on each other as long as we can get along????? .