Families often have arguments among themselves. From your personal experience has this ever happened in your family. What was the fight about?How did it change your family get-togethers? How long...

Families often have arguments among themselves. From your personal experience has this ever happened in your family. What was the fight about?

How did it change your family get-togethers? How long did it last? How was it resolved? If it hasn't been solved, what is the current drama? Thanks for sharing!

Asked on by julia908

5 Answers

litteacher8's profile pic

litteacher8 | High School Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

Families fight over money and control. Money can drive the biggest wedge between family members. Either having too much of it or not enough causes trouble. Control is about people getting what they want and making choices for other people. It causes disharmony because people resent having choices made for them.
clairewait's profile pic

clairewait | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Educator Emeritus

Posted on

Drama.  Hah.

The first big fight my husband and I ever had was over the situation of extended family visits and traveling, especially over the holidays.  As a child I never lived in the same state as extended family so my family travelled very little.  My husband grew up as the 4th generation on his family farm.  90% of the relatives on BOTH SIDES of his family lived within 10 miles of him, and the rest were largely still in the same state.

I did not want to make travelling over Christmas a habit with our children.  I also did not want to entertain house guests longer than 4 days.  We've come to a mutual agreement (because my husband is more like me than like his own family) that we would have a 4 day max on all family visits and we'd always allow our children to wake up in their own beds on Christmas morning.

This is an ongoing issue with my in-laws however, who cannot seem to get enough time with the grandkids.  We live several states away from the family farm and getting "home" for my husband is expensive and time consuming.  We do what we can to get there as often as possible, we try to extend invitations to all grandparents to come here frequently but for short visits, and we just pray that we can maintain a mutual love and respect for everyone's wishes.

besure77's profile pic

besure77 | Middle School Teacher | (Level 1) Senior Educator

Posted on

This has happened in my family. My dad and his brother did not speak to each other for about ten years. When my cousin was about 3 he went with his parents (my dads brother and sister-in-law) to visit my grandparents. My grandparents german shepherd bit my cousin and he needed many stitches. My grandparents refused to put the dog down so my uncle did not speak to his parents or my dad for 10 years. They did not speak to my dad because he wouldn't take sides. It was eventually solved and I will never forget it. My dad and uncle finally spoke and when they saw each other in person they ran like they boys and embraced each other crying. They lost 10 years over this and I do not think it was worth it. Families need to communicate-not disown one another. There will always be differences but family can never be replaced.

pohnpei397's profile pic

pohnpei397 | College Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

Mine is current and has been going on for about 2 years now.

My little brother was getting divorced.  My older brother was talking to me about it and started scolding me for my attitude about the whole thing.  I hung up on him because he was, in my opinion, insulting me and saying that I did not love my little brother.

My older brother has not spoken to me since.  He says that I did not show enough respect to him when I hung up on him.  We have not had a family gathering that included everyone since then.  He says I am not welcome in his house...

In my opinion, this dispute comes from very deep differences in our personalities and from sibling rivalry that we had when we were younger.

nusratfarah's profile pic

nusratfarah | (Level 1) Valedictorian

Posted on

One important issue in my family is generation gap, for which I have to fight my parents.
Other two factors because of which my parents, or My sister and I fight each other oftentimes are the issues of egotism and lack of understanding.