Explain what Pip is slowly beginning to realize here in Great Expectations
“It was fine summer weather again, and as I walked along, the time when I was a little helpless creature, and my sister did not spare me, vividly returned. But they returned with a gentle tone on them that softened even the edge of the Tickler. For now, the very breath of the beans and clover whispered to my heart that the day must come when it would be well for my memory that others walking in the sunshine should be softened as they thought of me.” (Pg.218)
This excerpt is from Chapter XXXV of Great Expectations, and at this point Pip has been living a lavish life, indulging in the acquisition of material possessions--as Mr. Jaggers has foretold, he has "gone wrong." Sadly, Pip has brought Herbert into debt with their splurging because Herbert does not have an income such as Pip's. When news arrives of Mrs. Joe's death, Pip returns to the countryside and walks along reflecting upon his past life at the forge. With the "blankness of death" of his sister's murder, Pip experiences a shock of regret that he has not visited the forge much since having gone to London; consequently, his memories of Tickler soften.
In addition, Pip feels an "indignation against the assailant," Orlick. He ponders pursuing Orlick and revenging Mrs. Joe's death, but he does not have enough evidence even though Biddy has told him that she has witnessed Orlick hiding behind a tree on the night of the murder. However, Pip promises Biddy that he will return to the forge more often henceforth, but Biddy reproaches him, cognizant that he will not do so. Nonetheless, after this trip to the forge, Pip begins to assess his dissipated life, aware that he has made a mockery of his "great expectations" just as the funeral that Trabb and Co. is a mockery of death. Thus, some of his indignation against Orlick is a reflection of his indignation at himself and his lack of integrity at this low point in his life.