Do youu believe in marriage? What is your opinion about u think that marriage is realy something of great value or it is just a formality done to combine two people together throught their...

Do youu believe in marriage? What is your opinion about it...

do u think that marriage is realy something of great value or it is just a formality done to combine two people together throught their life..

Expert Answers
mimerajver eNotes educator| Certified Educator

It strikes my attention that no one has mentioned that, since divorce is legal, some people marry many times. At every new wedding they repeat the same vows and make the same commitment to their partner as they have made to the one/s before. This casts serious doubts on the strength of the bonds marriage is supposed to create.

I have nothing against divorce. It is the only civilized solution to an unhappy marriage. Still, I believe that if people considered marriage more conscientiously before becoming man and wife, there would be fewer divorces. 

I've been married to an only partner for thirty-eight years. What kept us together were not certificates, rituals, or a sense of duty. Both of us continued  to choose each other despite "temptations" along the way. We learned tolerance, understanding, responsibility, and patience. Marriage is not a bed of roses, particularly after the first few years. The partners need to rekindle their love just as one tends to a garden so that the plants will not wither.

Then I do believe in marriage as long as those involved enter it with their eyes wide open and well aware that what they sign and promise implies much more than words. If someone entertains even a slight misgiving about her/his future life with a wife/husband-to-be, she/he will be better off remaining single.

Many men and women get married to people they expect to change. Well, we cannot change others. Changes are engineered from within, not from the outside. So, again, I believe in marriage when the partners accept and love each other as they are. The powerful industry built around marriage, ranging from wedding-planners to fashion designers, tends to blur the true meaning of the years to come. You will be safe and happily married if you can picture yourself in the far future still enjoying each other's company. 

mimerajver eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Thank you, Najm, for your kind words. 

What you say about egos couldn't be more accurate. 

I'd like to add a brief comment to your wise description of this further cause of disruption. People who are planning to get married and cannot escape their egos have, with exceptions, been raised in the bosom of a family and under the care of two other people who, in turn, got married.

Character and personality result from both nature and nurture. It would seem that much parental work is needed so that the child grows into an adult ready to accept and understand that marriage is about sharing, sincerity, and trust. 

I have observed that young people tend to either imitate their parents' marital life or to behave in exactly the opposite way. There must be something to which we parents are not paying due attention. Perhaps closer introspection of our own relationships and more involvement with our children's values might yield more satisfactory and happier marriages.

mwestwood eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Having parents who have taken marriage vows and remained married clearly produces a positive influence upon children.  For, they understand that their parents have made a commitment to each other that they consider holy and permanent.  There must be responsible relationships in people's lives. This is not to say that people who are not married are not equally committed; it is just that there is tangible proof that there is commitment with a marriage ceremony and certificate.  Such proofs mean things to children and others, as well.

shake99 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I do believe that there is great value in a marriage that is sanctioned by society and/or religion.

I realize that a lot of people see the formality as unnecessary, and I'm guess I'm being something of a pessimist here, but I believe that for two people to make a go at something so difficult it takes more than just their own commitment. The ceremony and public avowal do something that helps people do a better job of sticking with somebody. I think.

lsumner eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I believe in marriage. I believe couples should commit one to the other. I still consider marriage as sacred. It is still Holy Matrimony in my opinion. I believe marriage is more than an old fashion. When two people commit one to the other, there is a joining together that truly makes the couple as one. Today, it is still beautiful to see a couple who is in love unite in wedlock. Vows are important. Vows are sacred and Holy. Vows are meant to be kept.     

rrteacher eNotes educator| Certified Educator

It is also a legal contract, and one which binds people together in very important ways. This is actually an important part of the commitment. But ultimately, yes, I think it is a formality, and that today's relationships, at least in our society, are pretty solid and lasting before the ceremony takes place. A marriage is a ceremonial, legal, and official version of a commitment that should have already taken place by the time it is concluded.

pohnpei397 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Both.  I think it is just a formality and that (for example) my wife and I were just as committed to one another the day before we got married as we were the next day.  But there is something to be said for making public ommitments in formal ways.  I think we humans need ceremonies to some extent to help make things seem more real to us.

kiwi eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I have been married for 11 years. We have been together for 16. I agree that the ceremony does not change anything in terms of feeling, but is a clear sign of commitment. Plus, we still both agree that our reception was the best party we've ever been to: our choice of guests, food, music, etc!

literaturenerd eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I have to agree with the above postings. I do believe in marriage. I believe that it joins people for, hopefully, life. Not only is marriage a promise between two people, the "contract" shows a public commitment.

Marriage is great for those people that want to be together with one person for the rest fo their lives, its okay to not want to get married and live by yourself as well. i think marriage is just a legal and emotional conformation of two people wanting to be together, through a tradition that has been passed down by generations to confirm their love. 

astrosonu | Student

I don't like marraige. Why there is marriage? There should be just GF.

adi12 | Student

Marriage is a big step meaning that a couple is sure on what they want: to unite their lifes' forever. They are willing to take care of each other no matter what gets in between in other words marriage for me is very important.

susdas | Student

Marriage is a part of our life and i think its quite important.

Its not only a bonding between two persons but rather its a bonding between two families. Its a start of new life and also a commitment of staying together for the rest of the life. Its the completely sharing of one feelings to the other.ITS all about marriage.

salimj | Student

 I believe in marriages. It is just like the rules and regulation or the constitution of a country under which we follow certain rules for our own benefits. In a human society law is important in the same way in a family some kind of law is important there comes the need of marriage. But still i don't condom a man or woman living together outside marriage. If they can live happily without the framework of law that is excellent.

najm1947 | Student

Thanks Mimerajver for a very realistic and touching post.

Many men and women get married to people they expect to change. Well, we cannot change others. Changes are engineered from within, not from the outside. So, again, I believe in marriage when the partners accept and love each other as they are. - Mimerajver

The man reason for divorce is the expectation from other to change but do not even consider to change themselves. This basic fallacy is the root cause for many divorces that take place. But their are other reasons too, and I consider lust is the one that has made the institution of marriage prone to break ups. In today's world, sincerity and trust has become scarce. We have become so much materialistic that we do not consider deceit and belying an evil. We do not want to live for others. Its always me first. Egos rule and with this attitude the families break. Without these essential ingredients one can not expect a lasting relationship and marriage becomes meaningless.

najm1947 | Student

It is not just a formality, It is a religious, legal and social requirement and a public delaration of the utmost commitment, and the marriage ceremony adds real weight to that commitment.

manishamishra | Student

in respond to post#12,but is not this a formality combine two people together

kiyani | Student

I consider it great responsiblity for both husband and wife as well.Its commitment too,  but a sacrd duty in religion.

najm1947 | Student

Having described the general position of the society, as I see it, I fully agree with with post 8 by Lsumner and feel about the marriage the same way. I also consider it to be the only way to ensure the continuity of the human race tough some may consider it to be absolutely absurd.

najm1947 | Student

Marriage is formalisation of a commitment and is a social/religious/legal contract. It makes the partners feel the responsibility for being bonded through both emotional and social/legal commitments. To people who are religious, it is also the only course to choose for having sex and continuity of the human race. For others it is just a social contract and they do not consider sex out of marriage as an abnormal behaviour. The number of single parents in a society is a reflection on these behaviors.

loraaa | Student

I agree with the above postings, Marriage is important in our lives... ^_^