Nora and Torvald 's relationship is not really a fundamentally strong one because it is founded on appearances rather than trust and truth. Nora keeps up appearances and acts a bit like a child when she is with her husband, making him believe that she obeys him in all things...
Nora and Torvald's relationship is not really a fundamentally strong one because it is founded on appearances rather than trust and truth. Nora keeps up appearances and acts a bit like a child when she is with her husband, making him believe that she obeys him in all things when; in reality, she disobeys him in many ways, both large and small. We see her eating cookies when she is alone, and we only find out later that such treats are forbidden to her by her husband. She hides them from him, but he still asks her, "Hasn't Miss Sweet Tooth been breaking rules in town today?...Hasn't she paid a visit to the confectioner's?" She declares, resolutely, "I should not think of going against your wishes," and he responds with an absolute certainty that his word is law, and she has given hers.
However, she absolutely has been eating cookies and has gone against his wishes in even more significant ways: for example, she took out a loan years ago in order to pay for the trip abroad which saved Torvald's life, and she forged her father's signature. There seems to be a pattern, here, of Nora acting the part of the obedient and submissive wife but then going ahead and doing whatever she thinks is best. I do not condemn her for her independence of thought, certainly, but what seems problematic is her insistence on pretending to obey.
Ultimately, however, Torvald cares more for appearances than he does for his wife. When he learns of the loan and Nora's deception, he accuses her of "destroy[ing] all [his] happiness," never mind that she saved his life. He calls her a "thoughtless woman," when she was actually being quite thoughtful—of him, at least. When the final note from Krogstad comes, Torvald cries out, "I am saved! Nora, I am saved!" He does not mention her until she asks, and then—only knowing that he does not face the ruin of his reputation—he forgives her. It has become apparent, though, that he does not love her: not the way she'd always imagined he did. She has deceived him about her true nature, and he has deceived her—perhaps even himself—about his own feelings and character. The marriage cannot survive.