Could you please look at the grammar and the structure of the sentences. English is not my first language, so I am struggling with grammar and would like to know what mistakes I made. Thank you...

Could you please look at the grammar and the structure of the sentences. English is not my first language, so I am struggling with grammar and would like to know what mistakes I made. Thank you

People were building crypts below their houses, because they thought that there was going to be a nuclear war

During the war people encrypted messages in their telegrams because they did not want wrong people to read them.

When Alfred plays poker his face becomes cryptic because he doesn’t want other players to guess if he has good or bad cards.

When robber decided to abscond from the gallery with a beautiful painting, security guards noticed him and called the police.

When I was loosing weight I had to eat healthy products and be abstemious to products that are high in fat and sugars.

The world problems that were assigned to us in a math class were very abstruse. I did not understand what I have to do.

After the party, my house turned into entropy. It was not clean; there was food and drinks everywhere.

My major in university was cryptography. My friend and I learned how to encode and decode our messages so nobody could read them.

Her pedagogy methods were not very affective. Students could not comprehend what she was teaching.

She had an encyclopedic knowledge of Italian culture. She knows everything from A to Z.

Asked on by dashkinok

4 Answers | Add Yours

billdelaney's profile pic

William Delaney | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

I would just like to deal with one sentence taken at random.

When robber decided to abscond from the gallery with a beautiful painting, security guards noticed him and called the police.

There are a lot of redundancies in this sentence. If someone tries to steal a painting you don't have to specify that he is a robber. You don't have to specify that he decided to "abscond" either, because if he is stealing a painting from a gallery he is obviously a crook and obviously absconding. Absconding is too pretentious anyway. There is no need to say the painting is beautiful. That is in the eye of the beholder. It would be better to day it is valuable. You don't need to say the security guards "noticed." They wouldn't have called the police if they hadn't noticed. It wouldn't do the security guards much good if they called the police and didn't try to stop the thief. The police probably wouldn't get there for at least fifteen minutes, and the thief would be long gone. (Incidentally, a man who steals anything is not a robber but a thief or a burglar. A robber uses a weapon or force or threats.) I don't think you need to say "security." If they are guarding the paintings they are obviously security guards. If the guards are uniformed security guards, this place is most likely an art museum rather than an art gallery. "Gallery" usually suggests a private business, I believe. An art gallery would be more likely to be fairly small, most likely just one big room, and to have just one person watching over the entire place. You wouldn't have to say art museum, either, because the fact that the man was stealing a painting would indicate that the place was an art museum. Okay, the sentence should read as follows:

When a man tried to steal a valuable painting from a museum, the guards stopped him and called the police.

You could shorten it by saying:

When a man tried to steal a valuable painting, the museum guards stopped him and called the police.

It might be better to specify the number of guards involved:

When a man tried to steal a valuable painting, two museum guards stopped him and called the police.

mwestwood's profile pic

mwestwood | College Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

Here are some other suggestions and notations:

When the robber decided to abscond from the gallery with a beautiful painting, security guards noticed him and called the police.

While the verb abscond has been defined as to depart suddenly, in its more prevalent usage, both in print and verbally, abscond is generally used in conjunction with the preposition with and the object taken. So, this sentence would probably be better written in this manner,

  • When the robber decided to abscond with a beautiful painting from the gallery, security guards noticed him and called the police.

The world problems that were assigned to us in a math class were very abstruse. I did not understand what I have to do.

The correction for this sentence, too, is not technically wrong. But, in normal usage, abstruse is rarely magnified by the adverb very since its definition indicates a high degree of difficulty. So, it is better to simply use abstruse by itself, rather than with very:

  • The word problems that were assigned to us in math class were abstruse; consequently, I did not understand how to work them.

When I was loosing weight I had to eat healthy products and be abstemious to products that are high in fat and sugars. 

Again, there is no technical error in this sentence, but here are some other suggestions/comments:

While the word loose is actually listed in the dictionary as a transitive verb (e.g. Loose the boat from its moorings, please), common usage in several parts of the United States finds loose used only as an adjective or adverb (e.g. His clothes were loose on him after his trip overseas.)

Likewise, the use of abstemious in this sentence as a predicate adjective is not common at all; abstemious is used with things, and the sentence is awkward. Perhaps, then, it would be better to write that you were on an abstemious diet:

  • While I was losing weight, I had to maintain an abstemious diet of healthy products and avoid those that are high in fat and sugars.

After the party, my house turned into entropy. It was not clean; there was food and drinks everywhere.

The word entropy is misused here as it pertains to energy and a house has no energy whether thermodynamic or, as in marketing, finance, and such where it means "lack of order; gradual decline into disorder." So, if you have just created the entire sentence, it is advisable that you change the topic. For instance, you could write a sentence involving changes on an arbitrary scale. Here is an example,

  • That marketing firm exhibits financial entropy as its profits and growth are erratic
Sources:
pohnpei397's profile pic

pohnpei397 | College Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

People were building crypts below their houses, because they thought that there was going to be a nuclear war.

You don’t need a comma after houses.  Other than that, this is fine.  However, the word “crypt” is mostly used to refer to a place for burying dead people.  “Shelters” might be a better word.

 During the war people encrypted messages in their telegrams because they did not want wrong people to read them.

I would say “encrypted THE messages.”  Also, I would say “THE wrong people.”  Neither of these is really a problem with grammar.  It is just that your sentence uses some usages that are not common in American English.

When Alfred plays poker his face becomes cryptic because he doesn’t want other players to guess if he has good or bad cards.

I would say “to be able to guess” or better yet “to be able to tell.”  “Tell” indicates that you know something for certain while guess means that you do not actually know something.

When robber decided to abscond from the gallery with a beautiful painting, security guards noticed him and called the police.

You need to use an article before “robber.”  You can either say “the robber” or “a robber.”

When I was loosing weight I had to eat healthy products and be abstemious to products that are high in fat and sugars.

The correct spelling is “losing.”  I would use the word “with” instead of “to” after “products.”  Again, this is not really a grammatical error.  It is just about common usage.

The world problems that were assigned to us in a math class were very abstruse. I did not understand what I have to do.

This should read “word problems” rather than “world problems.”  It is a little odd to say “a math class” because it is not a definite article.  Since you must be in this math class regularly, you should say “our math class” or even just “math class.”  Your use of “abstruse” is fine.

After the party, my house turned into entropy. It was not clean; there was food and drinks everywhere.

In this sentence, it sounds as if your entire house (the walls, the ceiling, the roof, etc.) became entropy.  I think I would say “my house was in a state of entropy.” 

My major in university was cryptography. My friend and I learned how to encode and decode our messages so nobody could read them.

There are no problems with these sentences.

Her pedagogy methods were not very affective. Students could not comprehend what she was teaching.

“Pedagogy” needs to be changed to “pedagogical.”  “Pedagogy” is a noun so it cannot modify “methods.”  “Pedagogical” is an adjective so it can modify “methods.”  “Affective” should be changed to “effective.”  These two words mean very different things.

 She had an encyclopedic knowledge of Italian culture. She knows everything from A to Z.

The only problem here is that your verb in the first sentence is in the past tense while your verb in the second sentence is in the present.  They must be in the same tense.  So you could say “She has an encyclopedic…” or you can say “She knew everything…”

Your sentences are not bad at all!

Sources:
glendamaem's profile pic

glendamaem | Student | (Level 1) Honors

Posted on

People started to build crypts below their houses because they thought that there was going to be a nuclear war.

During the war, people encrypted messages in their telegrams so that the only people who can read them are the intended receivers.

Whenever Alfred plays poker, his face becomes cryptic because he doeesn't want other players to guess whether he has good cards or not.

When a thief decided to abscond from agallery with a beautiful painting, security guards noticed him and the latter immediately called the police.

When I was losing weight, I had to eat healthy products and be abstemious to fats and sugars.

The world problems that were assigned in Math class were very abstruse. I did not understand what I have to do.

After the party, my house was an entropy. It was not clean as there were food and drinks everywhere.

My major in the university was crytography. My friend and I learned how to encode and decode our messages so that nobody could read them except for us.

Her pedagogy was not very effective as students did not comprehend what she was teaching.

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