could someone help me reword this and tell me if it was difficult please? Direct Quote  Of the more than 1000 bicycling deaths each year, three-fourths are caused by head injuries. Half of those...

could someone help me reword this and tell me if it was difficult please?

Direct Quote  Of the more than 1000 bicycling deaths each year, three-fourths are caused by head injuries. Half of those killed are school-age children. One study concluded that wearing a bike helmet can reduce the risk of head injury by 85 percent. In an accident, a bike helmet absorbs the shock and cushions the head. From "Bike Helmets: Unused Lifesavers," Consumer Reports (May 1990): 348.

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mwestwood | College Teacher | (Level 3) Distinguished Educator

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In a recent study published by Consumer Reports of more than one thousand deaths each year of bicycle riders, seventy-five per cent of these deaths have resulted from head injuries; moreover, one-half of the head-injury deaths have been those of school-age children. Another study of the circumstances of these deaths determined that the wearing of a bicycle helmet can reduce the risk of head injury by eighty-five per cent because the helmet absorbs shock and cushions the head against impact. 

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RE:  degree of difficulty

This revision was fairly easy as the sentences were already in a coherent order. The main revisions were with the use of the numbers. While the numerals can also be used for amounts and percentages, the words for these are optional, as well. The important thing is to be consistent with whichever one employs. So, since there were more numbers given in words, the others were also written in word form. Using conjunctive adverbs, some complex sentences were formed from simple sentences; in addition, transitions were used.

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