As an American, I would never say that something is not appropriate for the country in which it is accepted unless it physically harmful to an individual. If other cultures believe in arranged marriages, then they should continue with that custom as long as all of the parties are in agreement.
For Americans, it is not a custom that I would find appropriate. Although a lot of marriages are not successful, I still believe that everyone has the right to find the person with whom he/she will spend his/her life.
There are things that should be changed and required before a person should be able to marry even in America.
Reconstructing marriage will require taking a serious, unsentimental look at a wide array of public policy decisions in the light of a new understanding of what marriage as an institution requires. . . .
- The marriage age should be raised to 25.
- The couple should have to go marriage counseling or classes.
- The parents on both sides should be involved more because they are a part of the family for the married couple.
- Divorce should be much harder to obtain.
With these changes, marriage in American might be more successful.
Why do I believe that arranged marriages are not appropriate for Americans?
By the time Americans are ready to marry, it is doubtful that they would listen to their parents in choosing someone for them to live with for the rest of their lives.
As a parent, I might want to have discussion rights with my child concerning who she is marrying. I would never want the responsibility for selecting my child's lifetime partner. The results might be the blame game when the marriage did not work out.
Americans teach their children to be independent and be able to make their own decisions. They want their children to stand on their own two feet. If the parents selected who their children were to marry, it would seem to be hypocritical since the parent has taught independence.
In our culture with so many differences in religion, class, finances, political beliefs, it would seem impossible to be able to put it all together for the child. That must be their responsibility.
It is an old tradition to ask the father for the girl's hand in marriage. This is about as far as the American's are going to allows parents to be involved.
It is doubtful that anything like an arranged marriage will ever be a consistent part of the American culture.