Children suffer more from peer pressure or parental pressure?Just want an opinion.... Since all the parents want their child to do best but they sometimes don't realise that what their child has...

Children suffer more from peer pressure or parental pressure?

Just want an opinion.... Since all the parents want their child to do best but they sometimes don't realise that what their child has don is THEIR best...

Expert Answers
mizzwillie eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Having taught in middle school for many years, I would say that children suffer more from parental pressure in their early years and more from peer pressure from middle school on.  The trick is for parents to recognize this switch and support their child in the face of heavy peer pressure.  In this manner, parents can alleviate some of the peer pressure by keeping their rules strong but a bit flexible, discussing with their children what the parents' views are and why, and listening, listening, listening.  Children will talk if parents don't judge but listen, if time is set aside to do something together where conversation is possible, and if questions are asked with a "Tell me about"  rather than "How was school today? Fine".  Setting up a way for parents to be the bad guys such as the student shaking their head no at the same time that they are asking for permission to do something with friends on the phone can help the child say no without losing face.  Even a pet can help with peer pressure as the child can often work out their own answer by talking out loud to their pet or stroking their pet which relieves stress.  Parents are more influential than they think.

shake99 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

Good question. As with most good questions, the answer is, "It depends."

I think in many cases peer pressure gets to kids more than parental pressure. In most homes, kids take their parents' love and acceptance for granted, it's a given, and hopefully the kid doesn't have to do a whole lot to keep that love and acceptance. But with peers, it's an entirely different story. For most of us, peer acceptance is a very important thing in adolescence, and peers don't accept us unconditionally, like a parent does. We have to do certain things, or act in certain ways, to earn that peer acceptance. Depending on which social groups we want to belong to, peer acceptance can hinge on many different things, some of which are not necessarily good things (drug use, sexual promiscuity, etc.). So we many do things that are not in our own best interest to gain acceptance. This is not normally the case with parental pressure.

litlady33 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

This is a tough one. I would have to say that, depending on the situation, both are equal forces that sometimes are in line with eachother but sometimes, unfortunately, pull the child in two different directions.

Speaking from my own experience, I would say that, in general, parental pressure was stronger because I always sought the approval of my parents even while I was seeking the approval of my friends. Sometimes, what my parents expected of me was the same as what my parents expected of me, so I could seek their approval at the same time. When the two conflicted, however, it usually meant that my friends were a bad influence (at times when I was 'hanging with the wrong crowd'); in such cases I almost always let the pressure of my parents win out.

pohnpei397 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I think that it depends a lot on age.  I think that younger kids suffer more from parental pressure while older ones suffer more from peer pressure.  While kids are young, their parents are still more important than their friends, but this soon changes as they hit their middle school and high school years.

litteacher8 eNotes educator| Certified Educator

I think parents usually have the child's best interests at heart, but most of the time I do not believe that their peers do.  Parents usually think more about the child’s future than now, and peers usually think about the now and not the future.

etotheeyepi | Student

I went to a school where often the grandparents raised the children.  For those kids, surely a little more parental pressure would have been a good thing.

nicoledesilva | Student