Miss Havisham is aggrieved that Estella is cold and unfeeling towards her when visiting in Chapter 38. Her plan had been to coach Estella to be a proud and heartless creature who would destroy young men – Pip in particular – in a way that she herself was not capable when she was young.
Estella was sent to wreak Miss Havisham’s revenge on men.
However, Miss Havisham had not counted on Estella’s cold ungrateful attitude extending to herself. Estella has become the selfish and unfeeling being that Miss Havisham bred her to be, but had not considered that Estella would treat her in the way she was brought up to treat others. When Estella is visibly tired of Miss Havisham’s company, the old lady is insulted-
Look at her, so hard and thankless, on the hearth where she was reared!
Estella explains that she can never give whet she never received herself: love.
I must be taken as I have been made.