Can you correct this paragraph for me, please?Four years ago, my sister who is younger than me was born. On that day, our life changed. In fact we still do not believe...

Can you correct this paragraph for me, please?

Four years ago, my sister who is younger than me was born. On that day, our life changed. In fact we still
do not believe that until we see her, because she became 4 years a short while ago.
Before that, when my mother visited her doctor
he said to her "you should abort your baby
because you have diabetes and your age is more than 45
that will be difficult for you and maybe you put your life at risk" . "I will not do that. every thing that will come from god is good
that was what my mother said to him .To be honest I have been worrying about her
and there were a lot of nights I could not sleep.
I kept thinking what will happen to my mother. When she goes to the hospital to born .
On the due day
That day was the most difficult day I faced in my life .
I have not forgotten the moments we lived
We did not clam down until my father come and said to us "your mother is ok now and the baby is too.
That was the most wonderful news I have heard at all.

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bullgatortail's profile pic

bullgatortail | High School Teacher | (Level 1) Distinguished Educator

Posted on

This is subjective, of course, but here is how I would rewrite this:

Four years ago, my younger sister was born. On that day, our lives changed. In fact, it is still hard to believe that she became four years old just a short while ago. Before that, when my mother visited her doctor, he said to her, "You should abort your baby because you have diabetes, and since you are older than 45, it will be difficult for you and possibly put your life at risk." "I will not do that," my mother said. "Everything that will come from God is good." To be honest, I have been worrying about her, and there were a lot of nights I could not sleep. I kept thinking, "What will happen to my mother when she goes to the hospital?" The day the baby was due was the most difficult day I have faced in my life. I have not forgotten those moments. We did not calm down until my father came and said to us, "Your mother is OK now, and the baby is, too." That was the most wonderful news I have heard of all.

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