Can this Thesis statement  on A Separate Peace be rephrased to be more impactful?My Statement is: John Knowles uses the death of Phineas, Gene's justification of causing Phineas to fall, and...

Can this Thesis statement  on A Separate Peace be rephrased to be more impactful?

My Statement is: John Knowles uses the death of Phineas, Gene's justification of causing Phineas to fall, and leper's ultimate insanity to show that dwelling in a state of naivety can destroy and individual.

Does "to show that it is impossible to live a successful life in a state of naivety" sound better?

Asked on by port13

1 Answer | Add Yours

lhc's profile pic

lhc | Middle School Teacher | (Level 3) Educator

Posted on

I'm wondering if you should refocus your thesis just a bit.  Would it be possible to focus more on Gene and Phineas and their complicated relationship?  Modern day psychologists would probably refer to them as co-dependent, and at the very least, it probably isn't the healthiest of friendships, entangled as it is in envy (Gene's) and lost dreams (Finny's).  I think there was certainly plenty of naivete to go around during that time period, and Knowles certainly communicated that through his characters.  I would contend that their friendship ultimately destroyed them both--Finny's injury and reinjury were directly and indirectly caused by Gene's action at the tree that day--and that action can be traced back to a complicated relationship which might easily be blamed on Gene's envy, but in which Finny might not be as innocent as first appears. 

We’ve answered 318,957 questions. We can answer yours, too.

Ask a question