This question is really not what we are supposed to do. I can answer an essay question, but I cannot correct or fix a lengthy essay. If you can ask your question about essay in general or give us a line of your essay to understand what your question is about, then we could give you an answer. For example, if you give us the thesis statement and ask whether it fits an essay about the topic you have used, we can answer that. If it is about essay format, give us a sentence or two and ask if they fit the format you are supposed to use. You need to be more specific in your question, use an example to show us what you need, and try to reduce your question from the entire essay to one item within the essay.