Can anyone help me make some improvements on my thesis? I can't include it in this post since I do not have enough space. So I posted in below.
This essay will prove that graduating students in Ontario should only study Canadian literature in a Grade 12 English course. While good writers exist in all cultures, Ontario students should only study Canadian writers. Because we need to become more familiar with our literature. Three reasons for this are; the need to focus on our own Canadian culture despite being surrounded by other cultures, the need to promote and establish our own writers, and the need to encourage younger Canadian authors.
The first thing you should probably do is proof read the thesis and make corrections. They are a number of grammatical errors and punctuation errors. Aside from this your thesis can be made a little stronger by lessening its claim. In other words, rather than saying that the 12 grade English course should only read Canadian literature, why don't you say that the 12 grade English course mainly focus on Canadian literature? You might get more people to agree with your thesis, if you soften the language a little. As it stands, the thesis seems a bit narrow. Finally, the weakest point is that you can encourage local and younger Canadian writers to write by studying any kind of literature.
Opps, I noticed I kinda messed up on the post. Sorry.