It is ironic that Winston Smith's first urges toward Julia are negative:
Winston had disliked her from the first moment of seeing her...he continued to feel a peculiar uneasiness, which had fear mixed up in it as well as hostility whenever she was anywhere near him.
Having demonstrated his rebelliousness to himself in purchasing the diary and writing in it "Down with Big Brother," Winston sees no reason to comply in other ways since in his fatalism he feels that he will be caught no matter what he does, so he may as well experience what enjoyment he can. Further, he hates the Party so much that he desires rebellion in other forms besides writing in his diary.
Here are three aspects of Winston's life influenced by his relationship with Julia:
- With Julia, Winston is able to rebel against the Party. His affair is, of itself, against the rules and provides Winston some satisfaction. But it also gives his life some direction as he has someone with whom to rebel.
- With Julia, Winston wishes to join the Brotherhood in the hope of a free life since there is someone else he loves and with whom he can share his life.
- Because of his affair with Julia and his expressions of his thoughts, Winston falls victim to the Party when he talks with Mr. Charrington in his shop, who is really one of the Thought Police.