Wheaton College

Each semester, auditions are held for each of the a cappella groups on campus. Those that are accepted into the various groups are roused from their dorms in one of many ways (one of which is having a can of beer sprayed all over them in their sleep) and then taken to their first concert, which is held at the archway of Everett called “Slype.”

Each spring, students come together to craft what they affectionately call boats. These contraptions are then attempted to be sailed/paddled/desperately floated across the Peacock Pond in a race during Spring Weekend. Beer kegs have recently been outlawed as material for constructing the boats.

Each fall, students grab their significant other or friends and get all fancy and go out for a night of dancing and drinks in Boston. This is held at a ritzy hotel, where students dance the night away.

At the very end of the spring semester, before the stress of finals and the joy and sadness that graduation brings, seniors are taken on a special trip. They all pile into a bus and are driven to an undisclosed location, where they are given ridiculous amounts of beverages and then are driven home again in the wee hours. Previous Senior Disorientation locations have been breweries and casinos.

Whatever you do, do not touch the dining hall trays. If you do, you will be forever marked as a dork, and no one will talk to you. Well, it's not really that bad, but seriously, don't use trays—it will mark you as a freshman for sure. Even if it takes you five trips to get all of your food, which it will, stay away from the tray.

Never run to class. Even if you are horribly late and your professor is known for throwing satanic tirades, walk calmly, but briskly. No one ever runs to class, and those that do are frequently ridiculed by upperclassmen.

For some reason, the innocent plank of wood, which blocks cars from passing through onto Upper Campus, is maliciously ripped off nearly every weekend. It is dutifully replaced by the school and then torn off once again. It has become something of a tradition, and it seems to be a never-ending cycle. The culprits are seldom caught.

According to tradition, only seniors are allowed to walk through the front doors of the Cole Memorial Chapel. Anyone else will be struck with bad luck for the rest of their time at Wheaton College.

Another senior-only tradition is the rule that underclassmen are allowed to walk and pass by the steps, but they better not dally. Only during senior year may students relax on the library's steps because it is the library that has caused them so much pain of research and class work over the past four years.