Twelfth Night | Act IV, Scene II

Scene II

Olivia's house.

[Enter Maria and Clown.]

MARIA:
Nay, I prithee, put on this gown and this beard; make
him believe thou art Sir Topas the curate. Do it quickly; I'll
call Sir Toby the whilst.

[Exit Maria.]

CLOWN:
Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in't; and
I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown.(5)
I am not tall enough to become the function well, nor lean
enough to be thought a good student; but to be said an honest
man and a good housekeeper goes as fairly as to say a
careful man and a great scholar. The competitors enter.

[Enter Sir Toby and Maria.]

SIR TOBY:
Jove bless thee, Master Parson.(10)
CLOWN:
Bonos dies, Sir Toby: for, as the old hermit of Prague,
that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of
King Gorboduc, ‘That that is, is.’ So I, being master parson,
am Master Parson; for, what is ‘that’ but ‘that’? and ‘is’ but
‘is’?(15)
SIR TOBY:
To him, Sir Topas.
CLOWN:
What, ho, I say! Peace in this prison!
SIR TOBY:
The knave counterfeits well; a good knave.
MALVOLIO:

[From within.]

Who calls there?
CLOWN:
Sir Topas the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the(20)
lunatic.
MALVOLIO:
Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady.
CLOWN:
Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man!
talkest thou nothing but of ladies?
SIR TOBY:
Well said, Master Parson.(25)
MALVOLIO:
Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged: good Sir
Topas, do not think I am mad: they have laid me here in
hideous darkness.
CLOWN:
Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most modest
terms; for I am one of those gentle ones that will use(30)
the devil himself with courtesy. Sayest thou that house
is dark?
MALVOLIO:
As hell, Sir Topas.
CLOWN:
Why, it hath bay windows transparent as
barricadoes, and the clearstores toward the south north(35)
are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of
obstruction?
MALVOLIO:
I am not mad, Sir Topas: I say to you this house
is dark.
CLOWN:
Madman, thou errest: I say there is no darkness(40)
but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled than the
Egyptians in their fog.
MALVOLIO:
I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though
ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never
man thus abused. I am no more mad than you are: make(45)
the trial of it in any constant question.
CLOWN:
What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild
fowl?
MALVOLIO:
That the soul of our grandam might haply
inhabit a bird.(50)
CLOWN:
What thinkest thou of his opinion?
MALVOLIO:
I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his
opinion.
CLOWN:
Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness: thou
shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras ere I will allow of(55)
thy wits; and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess
the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well.
MALVOLIO:
Sir Topas, Sir Topas!
SIR TOBY:
My most exquisite Sir Topas!(60)
CLOWN:
Nay, I am for all waters.
MARIA:
Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and
gown: he sees thee not.
SIR TOBY:
To him in thine own voice, and bring me word
how thou findest him: I would we were well rid of this(65)
knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would
he were; for I am now so far in offence with my niece that
I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot.
Come by and by to my chamber.

[Exeunt Sir Toby and Maria.]

CLOWN:

[Sings.]

‘Hey, Robin, jolly Robin,(70)
Tell me how thy lady does.’
MALVOLIO:
Fool!
CLOWN:
‘My lady is unkind, perdy.’
MALVOLIO:
Fool!(75)
CLOWN:
‘Alas, why is she so?’
MALVOLIO:
Fool, I say!
CLOWN:
‘She loves another.’
Who calls, ha?
MALVOLIO:
Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my(80)
hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper; as I am
a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for't.
CLOWN:
Master Malvolio?
MALVOLIO:
Ay, good fool.
CLOWN:
Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits?(85)
MALVOLIO:
Fool, there was never man so notoriously abused: I
am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art.
CLOWN:
But as well? then you are mad indeed, if you be no better
in your wits than a fool.
MALVOLIO:
They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness,(90)
send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face
me out of my wits.
CLOWN:
Advise you what you say; the minister is here.
Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour
thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble.(95)
MALVOLIO:
Sir Topas!
CLOWN:
Maintain no words with him, good fellow. Who, I,
sir? not I, sir. God be wi' you, good Sir Topas. Marry, amen.
I will, sir, I will.
MALVOLIO:
Fool, fool, fool, I say!(100)
CLOWN:
Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir? I am shent for
speaking to you.
MALVOLIO:
Good fool, help me to some light and some paper: I
tell thee I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria.
CLOWN:
Well-a-day that you were, sir!(105)
MALVOLIO:
By this hand, I am. Good fool, some ink, paper, and
light; and convey what I will set down to my lady: it shall
advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did.
CLOWN:
I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not mad
indeed? or do you but countefeit?(110)
MALVOLIO:
Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true.
CLOWN:
Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman till I see his brains.
I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink.
MALVOLIO:
Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree: I
prithee, be gone.
CLOWN:
[Sings.](115)
'I am gone, sir,
And anon, sir,
I'll be with you again,
In a trice,(120)
Like to the old vice,
Your need to sustain;
Who with dagger of lath,
In his rage and his wrath,
Cries ah, ha! to the devil:
Like a mad lad,(125)
‘Pare thy nails, dad.
Adieu, goodman devil.’

[Exit.]

  • a cleric, pastor
  • meanwhile
  • disguise
  • occupation (of a priest)
  • host
  • associates
  • Feste is using Latin incorrectly to say “Good day.”
  • The hermit of Prague is a figure most likely invented by Feste to sound like a historical figure. King Gorboduc, however, was a legendary king found in the writings of the 12th century author Geoffrey of Monmouth, whose semi-historical stories later became the source for the Arthurian legends. Feste is making fun of scholars and intellectuals by pretentiously invoking these figures. Feste continues his false intellectualism in the lines that follow.
  • Go to him
  • pretends
  • exaggerated
  • room
  • barricades
  • high windows
  • a reference to Old Testament (Exodus 10:22); the full quotation from the King James Version is: “And Moses stretched his hand toward heaven, and there was a thick darkness in all the land of Egypt three days.”
  • Malvolio compares the darkness of his prison to the darkness of ignorance, and states that ignorance itself is as dark as hell. The darkness of Malvolio's locked room is an important symbol in Twelfth Night. On the one hand, the darkness symbolizes Malvolio's supposed insanity. But Malvolio makes it clear that the darkness symbolizes the ignorance and insanity of the rest of the household. While everyone else is busy getting drunk, playing tricks, falling in and out of love, etc., it is Malvolio who is the truly sane one. Ironically, though, he is the one who has been locked up.
  • Test me by asking me some questions.
  • (570 BC – 500 BC), the Greek philosopher and mathematician most famous for discovering the relationships in a triangle, which is now called the Pythagorean Theorem; the reference, however, concerns Pythagoras' belief in the transmigration of souls (more commonly known as reincarnation).
  • grandmother
  • before I grant that you are sane
  • to deprive; to strip
  • I am good at any occupation.
  • Go to him
  • villainy; bad behavior
  • let out
  • final outcome
  • immediately
  • the first lines of a traditional English folk song
  • by God; certainly
  • I will always treat you well (if you'll help me)
  • how did you fall out of
  • In addition to the five senses, it was believed that people had five modes of intelligence, called wits: common sense, imagination, fantasy, estimation (knowledge of such things as space and time), and memory.
  • infamously, disgracefully
  • made me into a tool for their use
  • Make me look like I'm insane.
  • Be careful
  • Feste is speaking now in two voices – his own voice and the voice of Sir Topas, the priest he is pretending to be. Since Malvolio is in darkness, he does not know that Feste and Sir Topas are the same person.
  • idle talk; babble
  • Do not speak with him
  • blamed, reproved
  • Alas
  • I swear
  • to communicate; to express
  • be advantageous to you
  • more than any letter you've ever carried
  • repay
  • moment
  • piece of wood
  • This is a reference to the morality plays popular during the 15th and 16th centuries. In a morality play, virtues, vices, and sins were embodied by actual characters. These characters would usually help the hero of the play resist the devil by threatening it with a wooden dagger.