Twelfth Night | Act II, Scene III - Page 2
[Exit.]
- MARIA:
-
Go shake your ears.
- SIR ANDREW:
-
'Twere as good a deed as to drink when a man's
a-hungry, to challenge him the field, and then to break
promise with him and make a fool of him.
- SIR TOBY:
-
Do't, knight; I'll write thee a challenge: or I'll(120)
deliver thy indignation to him by word of mouth.
- MARIA:
-
Sweet Sir Toby, be patient for tonight: since the youth
of the Count's was today with thy lady, she is much out
of quiet. For Monsieur Malvolio, let me alone with him:
if I do not gull him into a nayword, and make him a(125)
common recreation, do not think I have wit enough to
lie straight in my bed: I know I can do it.
- SIR TOBY:
-
Possess us, possess us; tell us something of him.
- MARIA:
-
Marry, sir, sometimes he is a kind of Puritan.
- SIR ANDREW:
-
O, if I thought that I'd beat him like a dog.(130)
- SIR TOBY:
-
What, for being a puritan? thy exquisite reason, dear
knight?
- SIR ANDREW:
-
I have no exquisite reason for't, but I have reason
good enough.
- MARIA:
-
The devil a Puritan that he is, or anything constantly, but
a time-pleaser; an affectioned ass that cons state without
book and utters it by great swarths: the best persuaded of
himself, so crammed, as he thinks, with excellencies, that
it is his grounds of faith that all that look on him love him;
and on that vice in him will my revenge find notable cause(140)
to work.
- SIR TOBY:
-
What wilt thou do?
- MARIA:
-
I will drop in his way some obscure epistles of love;
wherein, by the colour of his beard, the shape of his leg,
the manner of his gait, the expressure of his eye, forehead,(145)
and complexion, he shall find himself most feelingly personated.
I can write very like my lady, your niece; on a forgot-
ten matter we can hardly make distinction of our hands.
- SIR TOBY:
-
Excellent! I smell a device.
- SIR ANDREW:
-
I have't in my nose too.(150)
- SIR TOBY:
-
He shall think, by the letters that thou wilt drop, that
they come from my niece, and that she is in love with him.
- MARIA:
-
My purpose is, indeed, a horse of that colour.
- SIR ANDREW:
-
And your horse now would make him an ass.
- MARIA:
-
Ass, I doubt not.(155)
- SIR ANDREW:
-
O 'twill be admirable!
- MARIA:
-
Sport royal, I warrant you: I know my physic will
work with him. I will plant you two, and let the fool make
a third, where he shall find the letter: observe his construction
of it. For this night, to bed, and dream on the event.(160)
Farewell.
[Exit.]
- SIR TOBY:
-
Good night, Penthesilea.
- SIR ANDREW:
-
Before me, she's a good wench.
- SIR TOBY:
-
She's a beagle true-bred, and one that adores me: what
o' that?(165)
- SIR ANDREW:
-
I was adored once too.
- SIR TOBY:
-
Let's to bed, knight. Thou hadst need send for more
money.
- SIR TOBY:
-
Send for money, knight; if thou hast her not i' the
end, call me cut.
- SIR ANDREW:
-
If I do not, never trust me, take it how you
will.(175)
- SIR TOBY:
-
Come, come; I'll go burn some sack; 'tis too late
to go to bed now: come, knight; come, knight.
[Exeunt.]
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