I WAS SIXTEEN, and I had the most terrible dreams, And specks before my eyes, and nervous weakness. And I couldn't remember the books I read, Like Frank Drummer who memorized page after page. And my back was weak, and I worried and worried, And I was embarrassed and stammered my lessons, And when I stood up to recite I'd forget Everything that I had studied. Well, I saw Dr. Weese's advertisement, And there I read everything in print, Just as if he had known me; And about the dreams which I couldn't help. So I knew I was marked for an early grave. And I worried until I had a cough, And then the dreams stopped. And then I slept the sleep without dreams Here on the hill by the river.