Lady Flippant, a widow in search of a husband. Although temporarily enamored of Mr. Dapperwit, to whom she makes advances, she has her eye on Sir Simon Addleplot, whom she intends all along to marry and finally does.
Alderman Gripe, an elderly usurer, Lady Flippant’s brother. Enamored of Lucy, he is brought to her by Mrs. Joyner. He frightens the girl with his hasty attentions and is forced to pay five hundred pounds in hush money to her mother, Mrs. Crossbite. He later marries Lucy to get even with his son-in-law, Dapperwit.
Mr. Dapperwit, a witless fop. Enamored of Lucy, he is tricked into marrying the six-months-pregnant Mistress Martha.
Mistress Martha, Alderman Gripe’s daughter. Finding herself six months pregnant, she succeeds in marrying Dapperwit.
Lucy, Mrs. Crossbite’s daughter, who is in love with Dapperwit. She marries Alderman Gripe in revenge for Dapperwit’s marriage to his daughter, Mistress Martha.
Sir Simon Addleplot
Sir Simon Addleplot, a fortune hunter. In pursuit of Mistress Martha, he must finally be satisfied with Lady Flippant.
Mrs. Crossbite, a procuress and Lucy’s mother. She blackmails Alderman Gripe and maneuvers him into marrying her daughter.
Mrs. Joyner, a matchmaker and procuress engaged in finding a husband for Mrs. Flippant, in finding a wife for Sir Simon Addleplot, and in procuring Lucy for Alderman Gripe.
Mr. Ranger, a young man-about-town engaged to Lydia.
Mr. Vincent, Mr. Ranger’s friend and confidant.
Lydia, Mr. Ranger’s cousin and his betrothed.
Mr. Valentine, a young gallant betrothed to Christina.
Christina, a young woman in love with Mr. Valentine.