Doctor Faustus eText - Scene IV

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Scene IV

Enter WAGNER and Clown.

[Gives money.]

Enter two Devils: the Clown runs up and down crying.

[Exeunt Devils.]

[Exit.]

[Exit.]

WAGNER.
Sirrah, boy, come hither.
CLOWN.
How, boy! Swowns, boy! I hope you have seen
many boys with such pickadevaunts as I have; boy,
quotha!
WAGNER.
Tell me, sirrah, hast thou any comings in?(5)
CLOWN.
Ay, and goings out too. You may see else.
WAGNER.
Alas, poor slave! see how poverty jesteth in his
nakedness! the villain is bare and out of service, and so
hungry that I know he would give his soul to the Devil or
a shoulder of mutton, though 'twere blood-raw.(10)
CLOWN.
How! My soul to the Devil for a shoulder of mut-
ton, though 'twere blood-raw! Not so, good friend. By'r
Lady, I had need have it well roasted, and good sauce to
it, if I pay so dear.
WAGNER.
Well, wilt thou serve us, and I'll make thee go like(15)
Qui mihi discipulus?
CLOWN.
How, in verse?
WAGNER.
No, sirrah; in beaten silk and stavesacre.
CLOWN.
How, how, Knaves acre! I, I thought that was all
the land his father left him. Do you hear? I would be(20)
sorry to rob you of your living.
WAGNER.
Sirrah, I say in stavesacre.
CLOWN.
Oho! Oho! Stavesacre! Why, then, belike if I
were your man I should be full of vermin.
WAGNER.
So thou shalt, whether thou beest with me or(25)
no. But, sirrah, leave your jesting, and bind yourself
presently unto me for seven years, or I'll turn all the
lice about thee into familiars, and they shall tear thee
in pieces.
CLOWN.
Do you hear, sir? You may save that labour: they(30)
are too familiar with me already: swowns! they are as
bold with my flesh as if they had paid for their meat
and drink.
WAGNER.
Well, do you hear, sirrah? Hold, take these
guilders.(35)
CLOWN.
Gridirons! what be they?
WAGNER.
Why, French crowns.
CLOWN.
Mass, but in the name of French crowns, a man
were as good have as many English counters. And
what should I do with these?(40)
WAGNER.
Why, now, sirrah, thou art at an hour's warn-
ing, whensoever and wheresoever the Devil shall fetch
thee.
CLOWN.
No, no. Here, take your gridirons again.
WAGNER.
Truly I'll none of them.(45)
CLOWN.
Truly but you shall.
WAGNER.
Bear witness I gave them him.
CLOWN.
Bear witness I give them you again.
WAGNER.
Well, I will cause two devils presently to fetch thee
away.—Baliol and Belcher.(50)
CLOWN.
Let your Baliol and your Belcher come here, and
I'll knock them, they were never so knocked since they
were devils! say I should kill one of them, what would
folks say? “Do you see yonder tall fellow in the round
slop?—he has killed the devil.” So I should be called(55)
Kill-devil all the parish over.
WAGNER.
Baliol and Belcher! Spirits, away!
CLOWN.
What, are they gone? A vengeance on them, they
have vile long nails! There was a he-devil and a she-devil!
I'll tell you how you shall know them; all he-devils has(60)
horns, and all she-devils has clifts and cloven feet.
WAGNER.
Well, sirrah, follow me.
CLOWN.
But, do you hear—if I should serve you, would you
teach me to raise up Banios and Belcheos?
WAGNER.
I will teach thee to turn thyself to anything; to a(65)
dog, or a cat, or a mouse, or a rat, or anything.
CLOWN.
How! a Christian fellow to a dog or a cat, a mouse
or a rat! No, no, sir; if you turn me into anything, let it be
in the likeness of a little pretty frisking flea, that I may be
here and there and everywhere: Oh, I'll tickle the pretty(70)
wenches' plackets; I'll be amongst them, i'faith.
WAGNER.
Well, sirrah, come.
CLOWN.
But, do you hear, Wagner?
WAGNER.
How!—Baliol and Belcher!
CLOWN.
O Lord! I pray, sir, let Banio and Belcher go
sleep.(75)
WAGNER.
Villain—call me Master Wagner, and let thy
left eye be Diametarily fixed upon my right heel, with
quasi vestigiis nostris insistere.
CLOWN.
God forgive me, he speaks Dutch fustian. Well,
I'll follow him: I'll serve him, that's flat.(80)