Five signs you're an English TeacherI thought this blog was funny:

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lmetcalf's profile pic

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1.  Quickly writing down bad grammar examples to share with my students.  Recent favorite -- a T.V. add for a weight loss product.  The spokesperson with a big smile says, "It works so good by pants fit loose!"  Ah, 2 adj/adv mistakes in ONE sentence.

2.  Mentally adding 'ly' when people who use adjectives instead of adverbs.  (see above example)

3.  Ruining other people's television and movie viewing  with my running literary analysis of the plot, characterization, setting, etc...

4.  Commenting to random strangers about the books I see them reading in public places, like my daughter's gymnastics class or at the pool.

5. Buying books for $1 at our library bookstore because, "my goodness, it is only $1 and I might want to read that some day."

accessteacher's profile pic

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Mine would definitely be feeling an inordinate amount of rage when I see apostrophes incorrectly used! Is there anyone else out their who shares my obsession, or am I just really, really strange? I even find myself wanting to take out a marker to add or correct apostrophes on signs etc. I guess I spend so long trying to teach it and I get frustrated that many kids really don't care about it.

jennyrocks's profile pic

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I am surprised I haven't seen this one yet:

You meet someone new and casually bring up your "kids" and you don't realize until you see the horror on his/her face that you were asked "how many" and without missing a beat you answered "(however many students you have total)" suggesting your super-human-motherly ability to spawn that many offspring before you are 27 years old.

I also visably cringe when I hear someone say "I seen her at the store the other day".

I wig-out when people use good/well improperly too.

And I purposely ignore text messages and instant messages that have any of that "l8r, pwn, noob, txt" and other text-speak in them.

mshurn's profile pic

Posted on

These continue to entertain. The entries about watching inspirational teacher movies, getting excited over the WalMart aisle, and suffering from "English teacher's neck" all cracked me up. So true, so true . . .

What about these experiences? Are they shared?

Did you ever read some science but got bored because you couldn't find the plot?

Has anyone ever said this to you?  "It's not my fault you majored in English."

Have you ever found yourself analyzing your significant other/friends/acquaintances in terms of literary characters?

When you're "off duty" and meet somebody new in a social setting, do people start apologizing for their grammar ahead of time?

Ladies, have you ever written a check in red ink because that's the only pen you have in your purse?

Sign me,

Just Wondering


linda-allen's profile pic

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These are all great! How about:

1. You can't read any novel without thinking about how you might present it to your class.

2. You get excited when Staples has a sale on ink pens.

3. You keep books of word puzzles in your bathroom.

4. You keep a novel in your car just in case of a traffic jam.

5. Your "well-organized" desk has at least three stacks of student papers: ungraded, partially graded, almost finished grading.

pmiranda2857's profile pic

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1. Your excitement when you find someone who wants to discuss literature with you.

2. The heavy sigh that is released from you as you read the latest essay submitted by a student who still does not know the difference between there and their!

3. Your objection at the idea that any answer can be in the form of a fragment.  FULL SENTENCES ONLY

4. Your ever accumulating collection of interpretations and criticisms of works of literature that you teach, you never get to them all!

5. The battle that is constantly waged against our new abbreviation nation!  B/C W/O !!!! not acceptable forms of English!!!

litchick2011's profile pic

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1. My almost insurmountable rage at people who hypercorrect..."just between you and I..."

2. My inability to watch inspirational teacher movies as I am constantly wondering where these teachers have duty and how many preps they teach.

3. My ridiculous excitement at the "back to school" aisle at Walmart.

4. My need to dissect popular music for figures of speech and stylistic devices.

5. My motley collection of dictionaries and writing handbooks.

mshurn's profile pic

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Does anybody else . . .

1. Proof the news crawl at the bottom of the TV screen?

2. Own highlighters in 10 colors?

3. Save everything "for my classroom"?

4. Get annoyed when million-dollar earners misuse who/whom?

5. Take papers home to grade in big cardboard boxes?

herappleness's profile pic

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Response to #7 - YOU KILLED ME with your list. It was like therapy! Thanks!

You guys are so funny, all of you!

engtchr5's profile pic

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A few that could apply to teachers of many subjects:

1. A secret addiction to the smell of hand sanitizer.

2. The neurotic need to have every yellow #2 pencil fatally sharp.

3. A general annoyance at people who "talk over" others.

4. An extreme dislike of anything lacking organization (unless, of course, it's your own desk).

5. A collection of assorted travel mugs, all of which you use during the school year to sustain your caffeine addiction.

timbrady's profile pic

Posted on

1.  always asking people what they're reading

2.  getting annoyed by fewer/less

3.  proud to know that the subject of a gerund is in the possessive case

4.  proud to know what a gerund is :)

5.  correcting, correcting, correcting

amy-lepore's profile pic

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1.  My pet peeve--when the apostrophe is used incorrectly at the flea market (or other places).  "Funnel Cake's 75 cents" is just ridiculous!

2. Misspellings in the paper and billboards

3.  "Him and me are going to the fair"...UGH....and other grammar no-no's.

4.  Making my boys read a minimum of 30 minutes per day during the summer and discuss what they've read with me.

5.  Having more books stacked on my bedside table than most people even own in their whole lives.  I like to read 7-8 depends on my mood which one I pick up each night.

mrs-campbell's profile pic

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1.  Not being able to read any document, paper, book, newspaper or magazine without a pen in hand, to underline, correct, and make comments.

2.  Recommending books for book clubs that other people complain are "too descriptive," "too hard to understand," and "don't have any point to them."

3.  A stack of books 3 feet tall on the nightstand, all partially read, with bookmarks poking out everywhere.  "Book landslides" occur often.

4.  The commonly uttered phrase, "I'd love to go, but I have to grade papers."

5.  Episodes of "grammar rage" that occur after viewing signs in town such as "Free Kittys" and "Your going to love our store!".  Symptoms include yelling, beating the steering wheel, general pessimistic commentary on the level of intelligence in human beings, and the occasional uppity correction given to management.

herappleness's profile pic

Posted on

What would your 5 signs be?

Mine are:

1. Looking for spelling mistakes on supermarket labels

2. Correcting each person who says "ain't"

3. "Can you? or MAY you?"

4. Making compound words with Spaghetti-o's ABC


mlynnmassey's profile pic

Posted on


1. I'm hearing guys say things like "throwed" instead of threw... so not gonna happen! lol I can't help it!

2. Correcting kids outside of school.

3. Wanting to correct adult's grammar in public, but I don't. ;)

4. The red underscore on email when I try to abbreviate bothers me.

5. Absolutely despises seeing large advertisements with misspelled words.


briannajo5's profile pic

Posted on

What would your 5 signs be?

Mine are:

1. Looking for spelling mistakes on supermarket labels

2. Correcting each person who says "ain't"

3. "Can you? or MAY you?"

4. Making compound words with Spaghetti-o's ABC


1. Trying to explain "that" vs ", which" again!

2. Keeping apostrophes out of plurals.

3. Reminding coworkers to place commas after each item in a list.

4. Screaming at "Your Invited."

5. Hoping my coworkers don't hate me in the morning.

Teacher turned Executive Editor....

monicaruntu's profile pic

Posted on

What would your 5 signs be?

Mine are:

1. Looking for spelling mistakes on supermarket labels

2. Correcting each person who says "ain't"

3. "Can you? or MAY you?"

4. Making compound words with Spaghetti-o's ABC


1. Looking for book stores in every country I visit

2. My "teacher style " glasses

3. Planning everything...

4. Correcting everyone who does not use the British pronunciation for CAN'T

5. Using a loud voice when I come home from school, as if 25 students were supposed to hear me.

epollock's profile pic

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1) Correcting people's grammar

2) Insist om being called Mr or Ms by people in their 50s and 60s

3) Telling people not to run or become too excited out of class

4) Have more than one dictionary

5) Spend 4 or 5 hours a day grading papers

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