Scene 2

[Padua. Before Baptista's house.]

Enter Baptista, Gremio, Tranio, Katherine, Bianca, [Lucentio,] and others, attendants.

BAP:

Signior Lucentio, this is the 'pointed day
That Katherine and Petruchio should be married,
And yet we hear not of our son-in-law.
What will be said? what mockery will it be,
To want the bridegroom when the priest attends(5)
To speak the ceremonial rites of marriage!
What says Lucentio to this shame of ours?

KAT:

No shame but mine: I must, forsooth, be forced
To give my hand opposed against my heart
Unto a mad-brain rudesby full of spleen;(10)
Who woo'd in haste and means to wed at leisure.
I told you, I, he was a frantic fool,
Hiding his bitter jests in blunt behavior:
And, to be noted for a merry man,
He'll woo a thousand, 'point the day of marriage,(15)
Make feasts, invite friends, and proclaim the banns;
Yet never means to wed where he hath woo'd.
Now must the world point at poor Katherine,
And say, ‘Lo, there is mad Petruchio's wife,
If it would please him come and marry her!’(20)

TRA:

Patience, good Katherine, and Baptista too.
Upon my life, Petruchio means but well,
Whatever fortune stays him from his word:
Though he be blunt, I know him passing wise;
Though he be merry, yet withal he's honest.(25)

KAT:

Would Katherine had never seen him though!

Exit weeping.

BAP:

Go, girl; I cannot blame thee now to weep;
For such an injury would vex a very saint,
Much more a shrew of thy impatient humour.

Enter Biondello.

BIO:

Master, master! news, old news, and such news as you(30)
never heard of!

BAP:

Is it new and old too? how may that be?

BIO:

Why, is it not news, to hear of Petruchio's coming?

BAP:

Is he come?

BIO:

Why, no, sir.(35)

BAP:

What then?

BIO:

He is coming.

BAP:

When will he be here?

BIO:

When he stands where I am and sees you there.

TRA:

But say, what to thine old news?(40)

BIO:

Why, Petruchio is coming in a new hat and an old jerkin,
a pair of old breeches thrice turned, a pair of boots that
have been candle-cases, one buckled, another laced, an old
rusty sword ta'en out of the town-armory, with a broken
hilt, and chapeless; with two broken points: his horse(45)
hipped with an old mothy saddle and stirrups of no kin-
dred; besides, possessed with the glanders and like to
mose in the chine; troubled with the lampass, infected
with the fashions, full of wind-galls, sped with spavins,
rayed with yellows, past cure of the fives, stark spoiled(50)
with the staggers, begnawn with the bots, swayed in the
back and shoulder-shotten; near-legged before and
with a half-chequed bit and a head-stall of sheep's
leather which, being restrained to keep him from
stumbling, hath been often burst and now repaired with knots;(55)
one girth six time pieced and a woman's crupper of
velure, which hath two letters for her name fairly set
down in studs, and here and there pieced with packthread.

BAP:

Who comes with him?

BIO:

O, sir, his lackey, for all the world caparisoned like the(60)
horse; with a linen stock on one leg and a kersey
boothose on the other, gartered with a red and blue list; an
old hat and ‘the humour of forty fancies’ pricked in't
for a feather: a monster, a very monster in apparel, and
not like a Christian footboy or a gentleman's lackey.(65)

TRA:

'Tis some odd humour pricks him to this fashion;
Yet oftentimes he goes but mean-apparell'd.

BAP:

I am glad he's come, howsoe'er he comes.

BIO:

Why, sir, he comes not.

BAP:

Didst thou not say he comes?(70)

BIO:

Who? that Petruchio came?

BAP:

Ay, that Petruchio came.

BIO:

No, sir, I say his horse comes, with him on his back.

BAP:

Why, that's all one.

BIO:

Nay, by Saint Jamy,(75)
I hold you a penny,
A horse and a man
Is more than one,
And yet not many.

Enter Petruchio and Grumio.

PET:

Come, where be these gallants? who's at home?(80)

BAP:

You are welcome, sir.

PET:

And yet I come not well.

BAP:

And yet you halt not.

TRA:

Not so well apparell'd
As I wish you were.(85)

PET:

Were it better, I should rush in thus.
But where is Kate? where is my lovely bride?
How does my father? Gentles, methinks you frown:
And wherefore gaze this goodly company,
As if they saw some wondrous monument,(90)
Some comet or unusual prodigy?

BAP:

Why, sir, you know this is your wedding-day:
First were we sad, fearing you would not come;
Now sadder, that you come so unprovided.
Fie, doff this habit, shame to your estate,(95)
An eye-sore to our solemn festival!

TRA:

And tell us, what occasion of import
Hath all so long detain'd you from your wife,
And sent you hither so unlike yourself?

PET:

Tedious it were to tell, and harsh to hear:(100)
Sufficeth, I am come to keep my word,
Though in some part enforced to digress;
Which, at more leisure, I will so excuse
As you shall well be satisfied withal.
But where is Kate? I stay too long from her:(105)
The morning wears, 'tis time we were at church.

TRA:

See not your bride in these unreverent robes:
Go to my chamber; put on clothes of mine.

PET:

Not I, believe me: thus I'll visit her.

BAP:

But thus, I trust, you will not marry her.(110)

PET:

Good sooth, even thus; therefore ha' done with words:
To me she's married, not unto my clothes:
Could I repair what she will wear in me,
As I can change these poor accoutrements,
'Twere well for Kate and better for myself.(115)
But what a fool am I to chat with you,
When I should bid good morrow to my bride,
And seal the title with a lovely kiss!

Exit

TRA:

He hath some meaning in his mad attire:
We will persuade him, be it possible,(120)
To put on better ere he go to church.

BAP:

I'll after him, and see the event of this.