Scene IV

A Street

Enter Benvolio and Mercutio.

MER:

Where the devil should this Romeo be?
Came he not home to-night?

MER:

Where the devil can this Romeo be?
Didn’t he come home tonight?

BEN:

Not to his father's. I spoke with his man.

BEN:

Not to his father's; I spoke with his valet.

MER:

Why, that same pale hard-hearted wench,
that Rosaline, torments him so that he will sure run mad.(5)

MER:

Ah, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline,
Torments him so that he will sure run mad.

BEN:

Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet,
Hath sent a letter to his father's house.

BEN:

Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet,
Has sent a letter to his father's house.

MER:

A challenge, on my life.

MER:

A challenge, on my life.

BEN:

Romeo will answer it.

BEN:

Romeo will answer it.

MER:

Any man that can write may answer a letter.(10)

MER:

Any man that can write may answer a letter.

BEN:

Nay, he will answer the letter's master, how he dares,
being dared.

BEN:

No, he will answer the letter's writer, how he
dares being dared.

MER:

Alas, poor Romeo, he is already dead! stabb'd with
a white wench's black eye; shot through the ear with a
love song; the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind(15)
bow-boy's butt-shaft; and is he a man to encounter
Tybalt?

MER:

It’s a pity. Poor Romeo, he is already dead! Stabbed with a white
wench's black eye; shot through the ear with a love song; the
very pin of his heart split by the blind bow-boy's strongest arrow.
and is he a man to encounter Tybalt?

BEN:

Why, what is Tybalt?

BEN:

Why, what is Tybalt?

MER:

More than Prince of Cats, I can tell you. O, he's the
courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you(20)
sing pricksong, keeps time, distance, and proportion;
rests me his minim rest, one, two, and the third in your
bosom! the very butcher of a silk button, a duellist, a
duellist! a gentle man of the very first house, of the first
and second cause. Ah, the immortal passado! the punto(25)
reverso! the hai!

MER:

More than Prince of Cats, I can tell you. O, he's the
courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing
prick-song keeps time, distance, and proportion; rests his
minimum rest. one, two, and the third in your bosom; the very
butcher of a silk button, a man who fights duels - a duellist -
a gentleman of the very first house, of the first and second cause. ah, the
immortal forward thrust! the back-handed thrust! the hay.

BEN:

The what?

BEN:

The what?

MER:

The pox of such antic, lisping, affecting
fantasticoes—these new tuners of accent! ‘By Jesu, a
very good blade! a very tall man! a very good whore!’(30)
Why, is not this a lamentable thing, grandsir, that we
should be thus afflicted with these strange flies, these
fashion-mongers, these pardona-me's, who stand so
much on the new form that they cannot sit at ease on
the old bench? O, their bones, their bones!(35)

MER:

The pox of such antic, lisping, affecting absurd and irrational people; these
new tuners of accents! 'By Jesus, a very good blade! a very tall man!
a very good whore!' Why, isn’t this a lamentable thing,
grandfather, that we should be thus afflicted with these strange
flies, these fashion-mongers, these pardon me’s, who stand so
much on the new form that they cannot sit at ease on the old
bench? O, their bones, their bones!

Enter Romeo.

BEN:

Here comes Romeo! here comes Romeo!

BEN:

Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo!

MER:

Without his roe, like a dried herring. O flesh, flesh,
how art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers that
Petrarch flowed in. Laura, to his lady, was but a kitchen
wench (marry, she had a better love to berhyme her),(40)
Dido a dowdy, Cleopatra a gypsy, Helen and Hero hildings
and harlots, Thisbe a gray eye or so, but not to the
purpose. Signior Romeo, bon jour! There's a French salutation
to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit
fairly last night.(45)

MER:

Without his fish eggs, like a dried herring. O flesh, flesh, how are
you fishified! Now he is for the numbers that Petrarch flowed
in! Laura, compared to his lady, was only a kitchen wench, by Mary,
she had a better love to be-rhyme her; Dido by comparison, a
dowdy; Cleopatra, a gypsy; Helen and Hero, worthless prostitutes
and harlots; This be, a gray eye or so, but not to the purpose,
Signior Romeo, bon jour! There's a French salutation to your
French slop. You gave us a good false impression last night.

ROM:

Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give
you?

ROM:

Good morning to you both. What false impression did I give you?

MER:

The slip, sir, the slip. Can you not conceive?

MER:

The slip, sir, the slip; can’t you remember?

ROM:

Pardon, good Mercutio. My business was great, and
in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.(50)

ROM:

Pardon me, good Mercutio, my business was great; and in such a
case as mine, a man may strain good manners.

MER:

That's as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains
a man to bow in the hams.

MER:

That's as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a
man to bend his legs.

ROM:

Meaning, to curtsy.

ROM:

Meaning, to good manners?

MER:

Thou hast most kindly hit it.

MER:

Thou hast most kindly hit it.

ROM:

A most courteous exposition.(55)

ROM:

A most courteous exposition.

MER:

Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.

MER:

No, I am the very small spot of courtesy.

ROM:

Pink for flower.

ROM:

Pink for flower.

MER:

Right.

MER:

Right.

ROM:

Why, then is my pump well-flower'd.

ROM:

Why, then my shoe is well-flowered.

MER:

Well said! Follow me this jest now till thou hast worn(60)
out thy pump, that, when the single sole of it is worn,
the jest may remain, after the wearing, solely singular.

MER:

Well said. Follow me in this joke now until you have worn out
your shoe; that, when the single sole of it is worn, the joke may
remain, after the wearing, sole singular.

ROM:

O single-sold jest, solely singular for the singleness!

ROM:

O single-soled joke, only singular for the singleness!

MER:

Come between us, good Benvolio! My wits faint.

MER:

Come between us, good Benvolio; my wits are failing.

ROM:

Switch and spurs, switch and spurs! or I'll cry a match.(65)

ROM:

At full speed, at full speed; or I'll cry a match.

MER:

Nay, if our wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done;
for thou hast more of the wild goose in one of thy wits
than, I am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you
there for the goose?

MER:

No, if your wits run the wild-goose chase, I’m done, because
you have more of the wild-goose in one of your wits than, I am
sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for the
goose?

ROM:

Thou wast never with me for anything when thou(70)
wast not there for the goose.

ROM:

You were never with me for anything when you were not
there for the goose.

MER:

I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.

MER:

I will bite you on the ear for that joke!

ROM:

Nay, good goose, bite not!

ROM:

No, good goose, don’t bite.

MER:

Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting; it is a most sharp
sauce.(75)

MER:

Your wit is a very bitter sweetness; it is a most sharp
sauce.

ROM:

And is it not, then, well serv'd in to a sweet goose?

ROM:

And isn’t, then, well served with a sweet goose?

MER:

O, here's a wit of cheverel, that stretches from an
inch narrow to an ell broad!

MER:

O, here's a wit of kid leather, that stretches from an inch
narrow to 45 inches wide!

ROM:

I stretch it out for that word ‘broad,’ which, added to
the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.(80)

ROM:

I stretch it out for that word “broad,” which added to the
goose, proves you far and wide a broad goose.

MER:

Why, is not this better now than groaning for love?
Now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo; now art
thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature. For this
drivelling love is like a great natural that runs lolling
up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.(85)

MER:

Why, isn’t this better now than groaning for love? Now, you’re
sociable; now you’re Romeo; now you are what you are, by
art as well as by nature. for this idiotic love is like a
great natural fool that runs lolling up and down to hide his toy
in a hole.

BEN:

Stop there, stop there!

BEN:

Stop there, stop there.

MER:

Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.

MER:

You want me to stop in my tale against the hair.

BEN:

Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.

BEN:

Otherwise, you would have made your tale large.

MER:

O, thou art deceiv'd! I would have made it short; for I
was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant(90)
indeed to occupy the argument no longer.

MER:

O, you are deceived; I would have made it short, because I was
coming to the whole point of my tale, and I indeed meant to
monopolize the argument any longer.

ROM:

Here's goodly gear!

ROM:

Here's some good stuff!

Enter Nurse and her Man, Peter.

MER:

A sail, a sail!

MER:

A sail, a sail, a sail!

BEN:

Two, two! a shirt and a smock.

BEN:

Two, two; a shirt and a smock.

NURSE:

Peter!(95)

NURSE:

Peter!

PETER:

Anon.

PETER:

Right away.

NURSE:

My fan, Peter.

NURSE:

My fan, Peter.

MER:

Good Peter, to hide her face; for her fan's the fairer
face of the two.

MER:

Good Peter, to hide her face, for her fan has the fairer face.

NURSE:

God ye good morrow, gentlemen.(100)

NURSE:

Good morning, gentlemen.

MER:

God ye good-den, fair gentlewoman.

MER:

Good evening, fair gentlewoman.

NURSE:

Is it good-den?

NURSE:

Is it good evening?

MER:

'Tis no less, I tell ye; for the bawdy hand of the dial is
now upon the prick of noon.

MER:

It’s no less, I tell you, for the bawdy hand of the clock is
now upon the prick of noon.

NURSE:

Out upon you! What a man are you!(105)

NURSE:

Shame on you! What kind of a man are you!

ROM:

One, gentlewoman, that God hath made for himself
to mar.

ROM:

One, gentlewoman, that God has made for himself to damage.

NURSE:

By my troth, it is well said. ‘For himself to mar,’
quoth a? Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I
may find the young Romeo?(110)

NURSE:

By my truth, it is well said; for himself to damage, he says?
Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I may find the young
Romeo?

ROM:

I can tell you; but young Romeo will be older when
you have found him than he was when you sought him. I
am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse.

ROM:

I can tell you, but “young” Romeo will be older when you have
found him than he was when you asked for him. I am the youngest of
that name, for fault of a worse name.

NURSE:

You say well.

NURSE:

You say well.

MER:

Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i’ faith! wisely,(115)
wisely.

MER:

Yeah, is the worst well? Very well taken, in faith; wisely,
wisely.

NURSE:

If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.

NURSE:

If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.

BEN:

She will indite him to some supper.

BEN:

She will give him a written invitation to some supper.

MER:

A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!

MER:

A hare, a hare, a hare! So ho!

ROM:

What hast thou found?(120)

ROM:

What have you found?