Much Ado About Nothing | Act V, Scene I

Scene I

[Before Leonato's House]

Enter Leonato and his brother [Antonio].

ANTONIO:
If you go on thus, you will kill yourself,
And 'tis not wisdom thus to second grief
Against yourself.
LEONATO:
I pray thee cease thy counsel,
Which falls into mine ears as profitless(5)
As water in a sieve. Give not me counsel,
Nor let no comforter delight mine ear
But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine.
Bring me a father that so loved his child,
Whose joy of her is overwhelmed like mine,(10)
And bid him speak to me of patience.
Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine,
And let it answer every strain for strain,
As thus for thus, and such a grief for such,
In every lineament, branch, shape, and form.(15)
If such a one will smile and stroke his beard,
Bid sorrow wag, cry ‘hem’ when he should groan,
Patch grief with proverbs, make misfortune drunk
With candle-wasters—bring him yet to me,
And I of him will gather patience.(20)
But there is no such man; for, brother, men
Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief
Which they themselves not feel; but, tasting it,
Their counsel turns to passion, which before
Would give preceptial medicine to rage,(25)
Fetter strong madness in a silken thread,
Charm ache with air and agony with words.
No, no! 'Tis all men's office to speak patience
To those that wring under the load of sorrow,
But no man's virtue nor sufficiency(30)
To be so moral when he shall endure
The like himself. Therefore give me no counsel.
My griefs cry louder than advertisement.
ANTONIO:
Therein do men from children nothing differ.
LEONATO:
I pray thee peace. I will be flesh and blood;(35)
For there was never yet philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently,
However they have writ the style of gods
And made a push at chance and sufferance.
ANTONIO:
Yet bend not all the harm upon yourself.(40)
Make those that do offend you suffer too.
LEONATO:
There thou speak'st reason. Nay, I will do so.
My soul doth tell me Hero is belied;
And that shall Claudio know; so shall the prince,
And all of them that thus dishonour her.(45)

Enter Prince [Don Pedro] and Claudio.

ANTONIO:
Here comes the prince and Claudio hastily.
DON PEDRO:
Good den, good den.
CLAUDIO:
Good day to both of you.
LEONATO:
Hear you, my lords!
DON PEDRO:
We have some haste, Leonato.(50)
LEONATO:
Some haste, my lord! well, fare you well, my lord.
Are you so hasty now? Well, all is one.
DON PEDRO:
Nay, do not quarrel with us, good old man.
ANTONIO:
If he could right himself with quarrelling,
Some of us would lie low.(55)
CLAUDIO:
Who wrongs him?
LEONATO:
Marry, thou dost wrong me, thou dissembler, thou!
Nay, never lay thy hand upon thy sword;
I fear thee not.
CLAUDIO:
Marry, beshrew my hand(60)
If it should give your age such cause of fear.
In faith, my hand meant nothing to my sword.
LEONATO:
Tush, tush, man! never fleer and jest at me.
I speak not like a dotard nor a fool,
As under privilege of age to brag(65)
What I have done being young, or what would do,
Were I not old. Know, Claudio, to thy head,
Thou hast so wronged mine innocent child and me
That I am forced to lay my reverence by
And, with grey hairs and bruise of many days,(70)
Do challenge thee to trial of a man.
I say thou hast belied mine innocent child;
Thy slander hath gone through and through her heart,
And she lied buried with her ancestors;
O, in a tomb where never scandal slept,(75)
Save this of hers, framed by thy villainy!
CLAUDIO:
My villainy?
LEONATO:
Thine, Claudio; thine I say.
DON PEDRO:
You say not right, old man.
LEONATO:
My lord, my lord,(80)
I'll prove it on his body if he dare,
Despite his nice fence and his active practice,
His May of youth and bloom of lustihood.
CLAUDIO:
Away! I will not have to do with you.
LEONATO:
Canst thou so daff me? Thou hast killed my child.(85)
If thou kill'st me, boy, thou shalt kill a man.
ANTONIO:
He shall kill two of us, and men indeed.
But that's no matter; let him kill one first.
Win me and wear me! Let him answer me.
Come, follow me, boy.(90)
Come, sir boy, come follow me.
Sir boy, I'll whip you from your foining fence!
Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will.
LEONATO:
Brother Anthony—
ANTONIO:
Hold you content. What, man! I know them, yea,(95)
And what they weigh, even to the utmost scruple,
Scambling, outfacing, fashion-monging boys,
That lie and cog and flout, deprave and slander,
Go anticly, and show outward hideousness,
And speak off half a dozen dangerous words,(100)
How they might hurt their enemies, if they durst;
And this is all.
LEONATO:
But, brother Anthony—
ANTONIO:
Come, 'tis no matter.
Do not you meddle; let me deal in this.(105)
DON PEDRO:
Gentlemen both, we will not wake your patience.
My heart is sorry for your daughter's death;
But, on my honour, she was charged with nothing
But what was true, and very full of proof.
LEONATO:
My lord, my lord—(110)
DON PEDRO:
I will not hear you.

Enter Benedick.

LEONATO:
No? Come, brother, away!—I will be heard.
ANTONIO:
And shall, or some of us will smart for it.

[Exeunt Leonato and Antonio]

DON PEDRO:
See, see! Here comes the man we went to seek.
CLAUDIO:
Now, signior, what news?(115)
BENEDICK:
Good day, my lord.
DON PEDRO:
Welcome, signior. You are almost come to part
almost a fray.
CLAUDIO:
We had liked to have had our two noses snapped off
with two old men without teeth.(120)
DON PEDRO:
Leonato and his brother. What think'st thou? Had
we fought, I doubt we should have been too young for
them.
BENEDICK:
In a false quarrel there is no true valour. I came to
seek you both.(125)
CLAUDIO:
We have been up and down to seek thee; for we are
high-proof melancholy, and would fain have it beaten
away. Wilt thou use thy wit?
  • act silly
  • words that one stays up late reading
  • of precepts, or wise advice
  • bind
  • mock
  • swordplay
  • lunging
  • bizarrely dressed
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