Much Ado About Nothing | Act V, Scene I - Page 2

BENEDICK:
It is in my scabbard. Shall I draw it?
DON PEDRO:
Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side?(130)
CLAUDIO:
Never any did so, though very many have been
beside their wit. I will bid thee draw, as we do the
minstrel—draw to pleasure us.
DON PEDRO:
As I am an honest man, he looks pale. Art thou
sick or angry?(135)
CLAUDIO:
What, courage, man! What though care killed a cat,
thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care.
BENEDICK:
Sir, I shall meet your wit in the career an you
charge it against me. I pray you choose another subject.
CLAUDIO:
Nay then, give him another staff; this last was broke(140)
cross.
DON PEDRO:
By this light, he changes more and more. I think
he be angry indeed.
CLAUDIO:
If he be, he knows how to turn his girdle.
BENEDICK:
Shall I speak a word in your ear?(145)
CLAUDIO:
God bless me from a challenge!
BENEDICK:

[Aside to Claudio]

You are a villain. I jest not; I will
make it good how you dare, with what you dare, and when
you dare. Do me right, or I will protest your cowardice. You
have killed a sweet lady, and her death shall fall heavy on(150)
you. Let me hear from you.
CLAUDIO:
Well, I will meet you, so I may have good cheer.
DON PEDRO:
What, a feast, a feast?
CLAUDIO:
I' faith, I thank him, he hath bid me to a calf's head
and a capon, the which if I do not carve most curiously, say(155)
my knife's naught. Shall I not find a woodcock too?
BENEDICK:
Sir, your wit ambles well; it goes easily.
DON PEDRO:
I'll tell thee how Beatrice praised thy wit the other
day. I said thou hadst a fine wit: ‘True,’ said she, ‘a fine little
one.’ ‘No,’ said I, ‘a great wit.’ ‘Right,’ says she, ‘a great gross(160)
one.’ ‘Nay,’ said I, ‘a good wit.’ ‘Just,’ said she, ‘it hurts
nobody.’ ‘Nay,’ said I, ‘the gentleman is wise.’ ‘Certain,’ said
she, a wise gentleman.' ‘Nay,’ said I, ‘he hath the tongues.’
‘That I believe’ said she, ‘for he swore a thing to me on
Monday night which he forswore on Tuesday morning.(165)
There's a double tongue; there's two tongues.’ Thus did she
an hour together transshape thy particular virtues. Yet at
last she concluded with a sigh, thou wast the properest man
in Italy.
CLAUDIO:
For the which she wept heartily and said she cared not.(170)
DON PEDRO:
Yea, that she did; but yet, for all that, an if she did
not hate him deadly, she would love him dearly. The old
man's daughter told us all.
CLAUDIO:
All, all! and moreover, God saw him when he was hid
in the garden.(175)
DON PEDRO:
But when shall we set the savage bull's horns on
the sensible Benedick's head?
CLAUDIO:
Yea, and text underneath, ‘Here dwells Benedick, the
married man’?
BENEDICK:
Fare you well, boy; you know my mind. I will leave(180)
you now to your gossiplike humour. You break jests as braggards
do their blades, which God be thanked hurt not. My
lord, for your many courtesies I thank you. I must discontinue
your company. Your brother the bastard is fled from
Messina. You have among you killed a sweet and innocent(185)
lady. For my Lord Lackbeard there, he and I shall meet; and
till then peace be with him.

[Exit.]

DON PEDRO:
He is in earnest.
CLAUDIO:
In most profound earnest; and, I'll warrant you, for
the love of Beatrice.(190)
DON PEDRO:
And hath challenged thee.
CLAUDIO:
Most sincerely.
DON PEDRO:
What a pretty thing man is when he goes in his
doublet and hose and leaves off his wit!
CLAUDIO:
He is then a giant to an ape; but then is an ape a doctor(195)
to such a man.
DON PEDRO:
But, soft you, let me be! Pluck up, my heart, and
be sad! Did he not say my brother was fled?

Enter constable [Dogberry, and Verges, with the Watch, leading]Conrade and Borachio.

DOGBERRY:
Come you, sir. If justice cannot tame you, she shall
ne'er weigh more reasons in her balance. Nay, an you be(200)
a cursing hypocrite once, you must be looked to.
DON PEDRO:
How now? two of my brother's men bound?
Borachio one.
CLAUDIO:
Hearken after their offence, my lord.
DON PEDRO:
Officers, what offence have these men done?(205)
DOGBERRY:
Marry, sir, they have committed false report; moreover,
they have spoken untruths; secondarily, they are
slanders; sixth and lastly, they have belied a lady; thirdly,
they have verified unjust things; and to conclude, they
are lying knaves.(210)
DON PEDRO:
First, I ask thee what they have done; thirdly, I
ask thee what's their offence; sixth and lastly, why they
are committed; and to conclude, what you lay to their
charge?
CLAUDIO:
Rightly reasoned, and in his own division; and by(215)
my troth there's one meaning well suited.
DON PEDRO:
Who have you offended, masters, that you are
thus bound to your answer? This learned constable is too
cunning to be understood. What's your offence?
BORACHIO:
Sweet prince, let me go no farther to mine answer.(220)
Do you hear me, and let this count kill me. I have
deceived even your very eyes. What your wisdoms could
not discover, these shallow fools have brought to light,
who in the night overheard me confessing to this man,
how Don John your brother incensed me to slander the(225)
Lady Hero; how you were brought into the orchard and saw
me court Margaret in Hero's garments; how you disgraced
her when you should marry her. My villainy they have upon
record, which I had rather seal with my death than repeat
over to my shame. The lady is dead upon mine and my(230)
master's false accusation; and briefly, I desire nothing but the
reward of a villain.
DON PEDRO:
Runs not this speech like iron through your blood?
CLAUDIO:
I have drunk poison whiles he uttered it.
DON PEDRO:
But did my brother set thee on to this?(235)
BORACHIO:
Yea, and paid me richly for the practice of it.
DON PEDRO:
He is composed and framed of treachery,
And fled he is upon this villainy.
CLAUDIO:
Sweet Hero, now thy image doth appear
In the rare semblance that I loved it first.(240)
DOGBERRY:
Come, bring away the plaintiffs. By this time our
sexton hath reformed Signior Leonato of the matter. And,
masters, do not forget to specify, when time and place shall
serve, that I am an ass.
  • sword-case
  • mid-course
  • The three items Claudio mentions are foods that were traditionally served at banquets, but they are also symbolic of negative qualities. Calf' shead and woodcock both mean fool, while capon (a castrated chicken) is another name for a eunuch.
  • term for a fool (see glossary)
  • eunuch
  • bird thought to be stupid
  • knowledge of languages
  • distort
  • A reference to the Book of Genesis but also to Benedick hiding in the garden
  • horns of a cuckold (see glossary)
  • A cuckold is a man cheated on by his wife; the traditional sign of a cuckold is a pair of horns.
  • Dogberry's mistakes:

    • plaintiffs for defendants

    • reformed for informed

    • give you leave for ask your leave

    • prohibit for prevent

  • mistake for “defendants”
  • informed
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